~THIRTY~

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His lips parted and his eyes dropped and he went pale. His orbs became glassy and his cheeks became red.

I swallowed hard and took a breath. "I-i want a divorce." I repeated again and looked up, a relief sort of washing off of me as the words rolled off my tongue.

He lost eye contact with me and stumbled on his feet and sat down on the edge of the bed and held his bandaged wrist.

"Wh- you you want a - a what a divorce?" His voice was low and shaky and his eyes held deep sorrow and sincerity as they pierced into mine. My eyes became watery and my face became hot and i tried to fight the tears back but failed.

"Why?!" He raised his voice a bit and I inhaled deeply. "because I'm tired." I confessed and his brows furrowed together. "Tired?" He asked and I sighed. "Yes. I'm tired. Tired of dealing with the same shit every time okay Grayson. I don't want to explain myself again. I've done it over and over and over again, and I am fucking exhausted. I'm done. " I start to sob and he slides off the bed and drops to his knees.

"P-please. Please. Oh God please don't leave me." He sobs and i drop to my knees and grab his hand. "I love you always... But I can't.... I- i can't go through life feeling the same heartbreak over and over again. I can't. It's excruciating. It's for the best.. please, please understand that it's not because I don't love you, but because... Because..." I hesitate and his swollen eyes stare into mine and I couldn't seem to let the last few words out.

"Because..." I say again and he grabs my hand and holds it to his heart. His body shakes underneath my palm and my body trembles with each sob i let out.

"Because I'm not in love with you. " I whisper and my voice cracks and his face freezes. I feel his body tense up tightly beneath my hand and his finger tightly Interlock with mine and tears stream down his face,, his cheek tear stained and red.

And he sobs.

Sobs uncontrollably... Every second he gasps for air as his body breathes in and out and water escapes his ducts forcefully, trickling down his sad face.

* Play audio*
"It's for the best." I whisper and he looks up through the tears and his mouth opens but there is no sound.)))

His lips move but there is just silence. Only the sound of my heart beat. I stand up and walk backwards outside in the dark and rainy night and hyperventilate. And everything goes from blurry to Crystal clear again 

I look at my surroundings and see we are at the quad in front of UCLA. Then i look forward and see Grayson crying and rubbing his hand on my stomach as we kneel on the cold, wet ground.

"I'm sorry! Im so sorry!" He cried and cried. Then I remember... After this my mind went into a deep daze, contemplating hoe my future would look like if I accept his apology and take him back.

"please.  Please forgive me." He sobbed and i blinked away the tears and rain drops and stared into his sad eyes.

"I can forgive you... But I can't forget" I said without thinking, knowing i said those words to him somewhere down the road and I stand up. "You made my life a living hell, you left me and the babies... You aren't going to  change." I confess and he stands up. "I-im sorry but, you left me. You hurt me I-" I continue and my mind starts going back to my daze and I relive everything.

It wasn't real. None of it. It was just a daydream.. or nightmare... A warning. A warning of what my life would be like if I go back.

"You're going to keep hurting me." I inform and he pulls me by the hand towards him and grips it firmly. "No! No I won't. Please don't leave me." He yells over the constant rumbling of the sky and i shake my head slowly and blink the tears away.

"I have to Grayson... You're trouble." I start to cry again and his eyes are tearing up behind his wet, shaggy hair.

"I love you! Please don't!" He sobs and i pull my arm from his tight grasp and Shake my head again. "i love you too..." I smile weakly then my face drops entirely. "But i love myself more." I speak out of self respect and I start to back away.

"No!no!" He screams and i take a breath. "Goodbye Grayson." I whisper, not knowing if it was audible are not and turn my back towards him.

And i never looked back... And he never chased me.

____________________________________

A/n:

The end!

So... Yea ummmmm that happened. I just decided to twist the wholleeee thing and make it a daydream.

From the point where they saw eachother at college and he said he was sorry was all a daydream.

If you need a deeper explanation then I'll make another chapter explaining it💀

Sorry💀💀💀

But yea this is the end of the road

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But yea this is the end of the road. For good. This series was tough and I'm lowkey thinking about just like deleting this whole book and leaving it to where they got married💀

But yea I'm love y'all😭

Xoxo motherfuckers peace 😎

-your fellow depressed virgin

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