hoseok arrived back at his apartment, tears already falling down his face.
he can't do it.
he can't be better.
he can't rule.
he can't be good.
he can't achieve dreams of being the best dancer there is.
hoseok threw his bag on the ground and curled into a ball in the hallway, screaming in anger at himself.
"w-why can't i be fucking good enough! why am i always the one to be knocked down! to be made fun of! t-to... to"
hoseoks sniffles turned to nothingness as he tried to choose another thing. there were too many things to choose from. it what that moment where hoseok finally broke. his tears streamed to a stop, his cries and screams of anger and confusion halted.
hoseok walked to the bathroom, and opened the door. he was feeling dizzy; he had too much food in his stomach. he got three fingers and shoved them down his throat, pushing against the walls of his throat. he gagged and his body coiled, releasing fluids that were in hoseoks all-too-empty stomach. he didn't even reach the toilet bowl before he threw up all over the floor. the familiar, comforting feeling of retching and releasing all that was bad felt pleasing to hoseok. but only momentarily.
then he moved on to what would make him feel even better.
