(Mostly) smutty Hamilton one shots

Jeffmadds (yo, James is precious and no one can convince me other wise)

Madison p.o.v
(Modern Office setting.)

Thomas has been acting very...strange this last week to say the least. I tried chalking it down to the fact that Alexander Hamilton was out of town for the next two weeks, but in the back of his mind he knew it wasn't. He was nicer than usual towards me, honestly I was the only person he was really kind to, but it's just been amped up recently.
Also the seemingly innocent guiding hand on my shoulder or the small of my back lasted ever so slightly to long when he talked to me, like he was reluctant to pull away. The way he looks back to me every time he said something sharp and witty as if looking for approval. The smile reaching his eyes fully when I give him a reassuring nod and a small, shyish smile. Admittedly when that toothy grin turned back to him I felt himself tighten up inside, wanting him to give him more attention, but I quickly puts that thought and notion tucked away to a little pocket inside his brain that I kept chained up with the key thrown away. Wasn't the best way to go about things, but I've never been good expressing emotion and Thomas just made me feel things I couldn't explain, he didn't know why he had them but he did.
I may...have confided these feelings...kind of to Washington, who had kind of taking on a paternal/fatherly role to him. I didn't say to much besides I really value my and Thomas' closeness, but that he made me nervous when he was around, like I was in hyper-awareness and that concentration kept alerting me to not do something stupid. I told Washington that it was totally platonic feelings...but I could see in by his suspecting raised eyebrow that he didn't buy it. He did offer spectacular advice though, hint hint the note of sarcasm on the word spectacular.
And I quote, "James, son, you know Thomas isn't the easiest person to get along with and the fact that you can is a miracle and he values your company more than you know."
"Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that" he mumbled frustrated, rubbing a tired hand across his forehead.
It was 6:30 in the morning currently, but work didn't start until 9. I couldn't sleep in with with these thoughts running though his head. So here I am, thinking about Thomas in a totally work-inappropriate way eating lucky charms at 6:30 in the morning.
Gosh, I thought as brung another spoonful to my mouth, it's just the way his hair bouncing when he swings around really fast, his head always up high with that extra long stride. That malicious smirk that seemed to turn so sweet when he looked to me.
I was so lost in thought about Thomas that I hadn't realized I was letting the milk and cereal fall off of my spoon and onto the table. I sighed and jumped up, grabbing some paper towels to clean up the mess.
I am so fucked
I screwed around for the next 2 hours, doing nothing productive but taking a shower. He past the rest of the time watching TV and thinking of the man seemed to now consume his waking days' thoughts. I kept writing and rewriting a letter in my notebook I always kept with me detailing what I would tell Thomas if only I was brave enough.
"My dearest Thomas"—
No, it should be
"My dearest, Thomas" The comma changes the meaning since it's in the middle of the phrase. Anyways.
"My dearest, Thomas

How are you today? How do you feel? Is everything alright? Forgive me, but I can't help wanting to repeat those questions to you again and again. I always want to know how what you want and what you need, I want to take care of you. If I told you who I was, then you'd be mortified, you'd reject me and that would be the end of it. I can't deny that you have stole into my affections without my permission.

Love,"

I stopped writing at love debating on what to put. I had already decided to slip the letter in Thomas's mail box along the way to work before I lost my courage to do so. He debated on putting Simon, just for the humor of it. But he knew that would give him away for Thomas knew of the move "love, Simon" and even better knew that I enjoyed the book. therefore that idea was out. I thought for another before just settling on erasing the love and not putting any salutations at the end.
I folded the letter and got ready to get to work.