Atonement

Chapter 11

~ Time skip: a couple of months later ~

Once again, Kakashi found himself at Training Ground 3, practicing his taijutsu. More precisely, he was kicking and punching a tree in a desperate attempt to release his built up emotions. 

Usually, if he felt like drowning he'd find Orochimaru or Anko. Sometimes even his father, if only to make sure he was still alive. Despite the fact that Orochimaru had been his enemy, the Sannin could be surprisingly understanding. Kakashi could talk to him about what was going on and he didn't have to hide himself. And Anko always managed to make him smile. 

But today neither of the two were around. Orochimaru had gone on a mission and was only expected back in three days and Anko was sick with the flue. So there was no one to stop his thoughts from consuming him. This all led up to him releasing his emotions on a tree. 

Kakashi didn't feel anything when he continued his assault. He didn't feel the pain from his bleeding fists, nor the growing headache that caused his vision to flicker. All he was consumed by was the urge to go on. Black dots clouded his vision and his movements became sluggish and slow. 

Suddenly, his body felt like it was on fire and he let out a strangled cry. His hands were searching frantically for something to hold on as his body swayed and his legs wouldn't carry his weight any longer. With a last pained cry, Kakashi could no longer hold on to his conscious and  was forced into the blackness that only held nightmares and terrors for him.

~Flashback~

Kakashi woke up panting. Outside was a thunderstorm and something caused him to awake startled. He was actually quiet happy that he'd woken up because usually, whenever there was a thunderstorm he'd stay up with his father watching the beautiful nature play. It was their special thing.

Kakashi had always had an unusual attachment to lightning and thunder. Whenever someone asked his Dad about his weird attachment, Sakumo would smile and always reply with: "He doesn't fear the thunderstorm because he is the thunderclouds.".  

Kakashi smiled brightly when he heard the thunder outside and the wind howling. 

'Maybe Dad is still asleep. I should wake him,' thought the young boy excited and walked quietly to his fathers room. 

He knocked loudly on the wooden door but when he didn't get an answer he hesitantly pushed the door open.

"Dad? Are you still sleeping?" Kakashi asked whispering. 

When there was still no answer, he walked inside the dark room.

"Dad?" he whispered.

The thunderstorm had grown in strength and the whole house was shaking. Kakashi really wanted to be in his father's arms right now. Lightning lit up the dark room and gave sight of a body laying still in the middle of the room. Startled, Kakashi stumbled back a few steps. He was sure he had seen something ted next to the body when the lightning had lightened the room. 

"Dad?" he asked scared.

However, there was no response but a deafening silence. When the next lightning hit, the boy hurried towards the body of his father. He anxiously searched for a pulse but when he couldn't find one his rational side lost the fight against his emotions and he wildly shook the lifeless body whilst crying out for his father. His pleas and cries were accompanied by thunder and lightning. 

Don't leave me, Dad!'

~Flashback End~

A stinging pain shot through Kakashi's body and he let out a pained scream. For a moment his eyes shot open and he could see the figure of someone leaning over him. From far away he could hear a voice pleading: "Come on. Stay awake." before another wave of pain crashed through his body and everything became too much and he was thrown back into darkness.