Atonement

Chapter 18

~Time skip 2 years~

Kakashi tiredly sat down in his tent and rubbed his eyes, exhausted. He was so tired of this stupid war! Everything had started so good, he had no idea how it could have turned to this. In his time line, the Third Shinobi World War had lasted four long and dreadful years, now that he was fighting in it he had thought they would have ended it faster. If not in the first year than at least in the second one but that hadn't been the case. No, they were already in the third year and it didn't look like they'd end it any time soon.It just didn't make sense!

Annoyed from his own weakness he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. The constant worry about the war, his village, his platoon, and his family tore on his nerves and he couldn't remember the last time he had a good sleep.

Kakashi felt set back to the time when he was new in this timeline and had been haunted by nightmares, although now it wasn't the nightmares that kept him awake, but the meetings with his second in command and other important shinobi.

However, he didn't let anyone see that this pointless war was driving him insane. 

The time traveler had thought that because he had already experienced war and darkness had forged his entire life, he would deal with this better than most. But truth was that he was barely hanging on.

"Kakashi-sama."

Kakashi looked up to see one of his most trusted summons, Bella, sit in front of him with a scroll in her paws. Bella was a gorgeous black hound that Kakashi used regularly to exchange letters with Anko.

"I have Anko-san's reply. And I should tell you that she misses you terribly and that you shouldn't let her wait for your next letter too long. Otherwise, she will try a few new interrogation methods on you. Her words, not mine. Apparently there is a nice young lad in the T&I sector that sometimes gives her lessons. His name is Morino-san if I'm not mistaken. So you should be wary of her threat," said Bella and watched her summoner thoughtfully. 

Kakashi shuddered when he thought about Anko's threat, that she would no doubt set into reality. During the three years he had been away now, Anko had started to get interested in the T&I sector. Apparently, even in another timeline Anko, or the crazy snake lady, as Naruto had liked to call her, had a knack for interrogation.

"Thank you, Bella. I'll summon you when I'm done," said Kakashi and patted the hound's head gratefully. 

"Until later, Kakashi-sama," with a puff Bella disappeared. 

For a while, Kakashi just stared at the scroll silently. How long had it been since he had last seen Anko or his father? Had it been weeks? Or months? He wasn't sure anymore.

Although, all of his shinobi had been back in Konoha for a couple of weeks every three months, him being the commander of the 7th platoon already had less time in Konoha and more often than not he had chosen to stay on the front instead of returning home. Kakashi believed it to be easier and less painful for his family if he stayed away instead of them having to regularly say goodbye. Therefore, in all of the three years this war had been going on, he had only returned to Konoha a total of five times and then only for a couple of days. 

It wasn't something that the Hokage appreciated even though it was a major factor as to why platoon 7 had so few casualties. Hiruzen, like many others, was worried about Kakashi's mental state but since Kakashi always aced his mental check ups, he had learned how to fake being okay in his previous life, nobody could force him to take some time off. 

Still, the time he had spent in Konoha, all the memories he had made there were the ones he held close to his heart and that helped him from crossing the thin line to insanity.