Just Across the Platform

sad boi hours

Eesha and I were at the dorm and I was filling her in on the project we'd just been given in English.

"You guys have to go around London together?" she gasps and I nod.

"Basically we've been given about 4 destinations that we have to go to. Sir wants us to get a proper feel of London because of how it inspired so many writers. He wants us to talk about what particularly inspires us about the city," I say, even though our professor is very laid back and probably just wanted us to get out so he wouldn't have to teach.

"This is the perfect opportunity! I know you've been wondering whether or not you like Jimin, now you can see!" she says and I agree. Spending this much time with him will open my eyes to whether or not I actually like him or I just fancy him because of his looks.

"Speaking of Jimin, he's been in a really good mood lately," I say, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box.

"I know, I've seen that aswell. I wonder what's got into him," Eesha replies as she turns on the TV.

. . . .

We spent most of the day chilling out when we heard a knock on the door. Eesha got up to answer it as I lay on the sofa, poking my head round to see who it was.

She opened the door to Jungkook and she let him in straight away.

"Hey," we say to eachother as he takes off his shoes at the doorway.

"Where's Jimin?" I ask, unable to stop myself.

"His dad came today," He says as he flops onto the sofa. His dad?

"I thought his parents are in Korea?" I ask, pushing myself up into a sitting position.

"I know, Jimin said to me the other day that his dad might be coming, he was so excited," I share a look with Eesha. So that's why he's been so happy.

"...but it's been hard for Jimin, he hasn't seen his dad since he moved to London three years ago." I heard Jungkook finish.

"What's he down for?" I ask curiously.

"No idea. Must be important because, well, Jimin's family must have had to work hard for the plane ticket." He says with a serious expression and I nod. He did mention to me before that they had worked to let him have a better education over here.

"Do you know what they're doing now?" Eesha asks as Jungkook opens the pizza box and takes a slice.

"I think they're just gonna spend some time together, they have a lot to catch up on," Jungkook says as he devours the slice of pizza and gets up for a drink.

I go to my room to let Jungkook and Eesha have some time on their own. After a shower, I get changed into my pj's and pick up the picture of my family from my bedside table. I start smiling as I look at my mother and I feel a pang in my chest. I didn't realise how much I had missed her.

Immediately, I got my phone and dialed her number. It went to voicemail and I slowly put it back down, all the energy drained from me. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks and fall into my lap as I thought of how selfish I had been. Ever since Jimin had moved to the university, I didn't bother to contact my family at all. It was no excuse to be wrapped up in my own life and forget about the people closest to me.

Needing some fresh air, I opened the door and walked through the front room to the door. Trying to keep my voice as steady as I could, I told Eesha and Jungkook that I was popping out for a minute.

"Wait, but you're in your pyj-" I shut the door as I quickly wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

It was around 8pm and not many people were about as they had either gone out or were getting ready to. I climbed the stairs up to the rooftop and the cool night air refreshed me as I opened the door. Wearing my pj shorts was a bad idea when coming up here but I instantly felt relieved as I saw the blanket. It felt weird being here without Jimin, this was meant to be his special, unknown place, and I found it to be slowly becoming mine too.

I slowly sat down, allowing my legs to dangle over the edge, and gently lay the blanket over them. My hair whipped slightly in my face so I tied it back with the hairband from my wrist. I wasn't crying anymore, the tears were dry but I still felt overwhelmingly sad.

It was only the second term of University, I had no idea what I wanted to pursue at the end of it. The grades I was getting now would suffice but later I needed to knuckle down. The only thing on my mind was the thought of my mother's disappointment. I just wanted to make her proud.

I didn't know how long I was sat there for, looking out across the city, when I heard the door open. I quickly turned my head to look and Jimin stopped slightly at the door and then closed it behind him.

I wiped any remaining tears with the back of my hand, not wanting him to know that I'd been crying.

He sat down next to me and didn't say anything for a moment as we looked out into the night.

"So, what are you doing here?" He asks and I clear my throat as it was sore from crying.

"Just came here for some fresh air, what about you?" I ask, still not giving him any eye contact.

"Same here." He sighs and I suddenly let my guard down, there was no point taking out my anger on him.

"Are you okay?" he asks and it triggers the tears to once again fall, and I make no move to try and stop myself.

"I'm just in a sad mood. You know when you think of a single thing that you're sad about, and before you know it you're thinking of everything sad," I say, as the tears silently trickle down my cheeks.

"I know what you mean, you don't think about them on their own, they just all come at once," He says and I nod my head slightly in agreement.

Before I know it, Jimin pulls me into a side hug and my head gently rests on his shoulder. The tears stain his shirt and I start to shake slightly as more violent tears come. I feel him slowly stroke my hair and I close my eyes tighter as I feel my heart constrict. This boy was making it so hard not to have feelings for him. He probably just meant this in a friendly way, because he had such a kind heart. The thought of that made me cry even more.

After about half an hour, my head was banging from crying and my eyes were so puffy.

"Woah," Jimin says as I lean back and he sees my face. I smile and lightly push his shoulder.

"I got a smile out!" he says as he gently pinches my cheek. His eyes were twinkling in the moonlight and I could see myself reflected in them.

"Thanks Jimin," I say as I realised how much time he had spent stuck up here with me. He gives a shake of his head as if to say no problem as we slowly get up.

"Are you in your pj's?" He looks down to my shorts. I feel embarrassed under his gaze and hastily reply.

"I had no time to change, I just came up here," I state as we start going down the stairs.

We make our way to the dorm and his phone pings.

"Jungkook's already back at the dorm," He says, not looking up from his phone as he texts back.

"Oh okay-"

"It's okay, I'll walk you back," He says, putting his phone in his pocket and starting to walk.

"No, honestly it's fine. You've done enough for me today, thanks. I'll be fine from here," I give him a genuine smile and turn to walk back to my dorm. I needed space away from this boy, his effect on me was beginning to get out of my control.