You

Anonymous

"I used to feel so small at family gatherings, whether they were birthdays or weddings, or just get togethers. My favorite part was always leaving. I could go home and read a book. I wouldn’t have to interact.

Everyone always had a smile at this reunions. Not me. I hid in the corner listening to what they would say. They were always happy things.

“My sister is getting married!” one would say with a smile.

“My dog gave birth to 4 gorgeous puppies,” another exclaims. 

“What about you?” they would ask me. “Are you doing okay?” I would swallow what I really thought and smile. It was fake but no one could tell. They never could tell. 

Help me, my eyes would shout. They all seemed to not hear or see the struggle inside of me.

“I’m fine,” I tell them. “Really.” I wish they would realize all I said is a lie. I want to go home and cry. But I can’t. I’m stuck here surrounded by people who pretend to care. They don’t. 

The kids would invite me to join them; invite me to play. I try but my energy is depleted; my will is decayed. I smile and sit down, wishing for an escape. The children would laugh, not noticing my absent. It hurt more then if I would have tripped and fallen. I would wish I could get out of here, my nails digging into my arms. I would always escape but not for very long.

This was hard to share, I don’t like sharing my feeling. One thing I learned is to not do what will make you need a painful escape. Just talk, it doesn’t have to be what you really think. Bring a notebook or something you enjoy. If that’s writing then do that. If that’s drawing then do that. Be yourself not a fake. If it hurts to smile, don’t smile. Be strong and who you are meant to be, even if you don’t know who that is yet."

~Anonymous

13/7/19

A/N

I truly agree to the last part. "Be strong and who you are meant to be, even if you don't know who that is yet". Beautifully explained but don't forget, it applies to You too. The one who wrote it, I hope you know this too. I hope you know how incredibly strong and brave you are and how it's okay to be weak. I hope you know how important it is to communicate even when it seems the most damn hard thing to do.

You are loved and cared for and you matter. You may feel small at times, we all do but don't forget that you're your own damn beautiful world there are stars and moons and sun that rest inside of you. You may feel small but trust me if you were to look inside of yourself, you're everything.

Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for speaking up and realizing every story is worth telling. My dms are always open to talk and just don't forget when you're surrounded by people, take a breath and know that you're here even if they look pass through you just know you're here and you're living and that's just so damn amazing.

Be kind to others and especially be kind to yourself. Be kind to your own body and soul and treasure it. Your actions and words and YOU matter. Every story is worth being told.