Imperfect Passions

Chapter 2

I stand fidgeting at the door of the chapel. The white of my dress shines brightly in the sun.

I got over my before the wedding nerves, and am now actually rather calm. The realization that I can't change anything, finally got through to me and I am now resigned to my fate. I am deep down a desperate fighter, but when faced with these odds, I can't seem to find a way out. My family, my siblings more than anything are depending on me, I can hurt myself, but I can't hurt them. I have to do this.

My dress, it's beautiful. My dress is something I've clung onto in the weeks leading up to the wedding, it has been something that I've had complete control over, and with my life otherwise totally out of my control, I've found being able to design it has brought me so much comfort and a small amount of joy. Almost ethereal in its appearance, the fabric is a shimmery white with light beading around the neck with long lace sleeves. The waist hugs my figure tightly.

Aunt Heather peaks her head around the large doors.

"Indie!" She whisper yells, shaking me out of my thoughts, I jerk back to reality. "Ready? Let's go!" I nod slowly.

The huge double doors slowly open and I begin the walk down the isle, my body feels like ice, I barely feel like I am actually here, and then I see him. My husband to be.

He's standing there his hands folded in front of him, he is tall, with brown hair that look like he's just woke up. His face is handsome with beautiful blue eyes, he has an air of masculinity about him that can not be denied, his jaw is square and his lips full and almost pouty. He's definitely older maybe 30?

He catches me staring and I look down quickly. I slowly make my way down the rest of the isle carful not to step on my dress.

I am finally at the alter, I look up and see he is looking at me. I look back at him, only a few feet separate us. His eyes are as cold as ice, his jaw is set in a fierce lock. I smile tentatively at him. He just stares past me at the preacher.

My heart falls to the bottom of my chest. He doesn't like me he thinks I'm ugly I am sure of it. Mom said there would be sparks, I would feel some kind of attraction for him, because of his beauty, but I feel nothing. I actually feel rather repulsed.

What decent man strips away the beautiful life of a 17 year old girl? He's had all the world has to offer, probably traveled to incredible places. And what of me? I'm to settle down and have his children like a good wife? I feel bile rise in my throat, my nerves are no longer calm they are on edge. How could my parents do this to me? How could HE do this to me.

I think about running, the door is right there at the end of this long isle. It's looming presence taunting me to just run. Then I think of my siblings, i have to do this, if not for me for them.

I look out into the sea of faces, I see my mother sitting calmly on the front bench, her face is stoic, I cant tell if she's happy to see me getting married or just angry that I couldn't do better.

The man i am marrying, his name is Demetrius Olanta, I don't know where he's from or what he does for a living, all mother would ever say is "he is well off" and with that the matter was dropped.

I shake back to reality when I hear the preacher say.

"Miss Yuvane?" I realize its my turn to say 'I do,' mother told me exactly which voice to use and how to say it softly and ladylike, that way the first words my future husband hears are those said by a lady.

"I do." I say, my voice sounds cracked and tired, and definitely not how mother and I practiced.

The preacher drones on and on, I say I do when it's my turn. Demetrius has a nice voice, soft and gruff, comforting almost, if that couldn't be more ironic, given the situation.

"I now pronounce you, husband and wife! You may kiss the bride." The preacher says loudly.

I start to panic, I can't kiss him?

Demetrius leans over and with a peck on the cheek, its done. I sigh relieved.

The preacher looks weirdly disappointed as if it means something to him wether the couple he has just married is happy or not.

Demetrius grabs my hand and tugs me hurriedly down the isle. I cant imagine what my face must look like right now. I can feel the utter hopelessness and terror that must be spread all over it. I've never been one to hide my emotions like my mother, some days it feels as if she can just turn them off.

We stand at the door of the reception hall greeting people as they walk by. They all look so genuinely happy for us.

I see many of the young girls staring at Demetrius and giggling softly.

He is handsome, but I am only repulsed by what I see.

"Idriana," he says, using my full name, "do you want to sit down?"

This is the first he has talked to me. It sounds caring but the Icy way he says it makes me cringe.

"Sure, thank you," I say. I am ready to sit and eat something.

The whole day, rushes to me all at once and I feel as if I might faint.

I am married. I am a married woman.

That fact absolutely terrifies me.