Girlfriend On Mars

37. "This day and forever"

Thirty Seven.

"This day and forever."

Jen lay lazily back against the reclined driver's seat of her jeep, shortened cigarette gritted between her teeth, windows rolled up tight and scorching sun streaming in through the curved front window. Her forehead in the heat had gained a glossy sheen of sweat and her hair had become limp under the concentrated beam of sunlight. She was locked in an inward debate: to tell Marley or to remain as they were? The troubling question had only come up because Jen had begun to worry about Marley's behaviour and Stephen's interfering emotions and had started to question whether she was doing the right thing. She so desperately wanted to mend the gap that was growing in size between Marley and herself, but she also wondered whether she was just imagining it all together.

She sat up in the seat, rolling down the window and flicking the clump of ash off the end of her cigarette. She was parked in a Home Depot parking lot; it was the largest one in their lakeside town and the emptiest. It was located by a small shopping outlet, which was busy that afternoon, bustling with weekend shoppers. Jen took her phone from her pocket and dialled Marley's number, the line crackling and opening on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mars." Jen said, smiling reflexively.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah good. Just calling to ask if you wanna come over. I can pick you up if you need. I'll even let you teach me about circle theorem or something stupid hard." Jen said, expression idiotic with love.

"Sounds riveting but I'm actually busy right now." Marley replied.

"Huh? Oh. Doing what?" Jen said lamely, dragging at her stubby cigarette harshly before dropping it out the window.

"I need to talk to Stephen. He texted me saying he had something important to say so I guess I should go urgently." Marley said nonchalantly. "Another time? Just not today then."

"Wait!" Jen blurted, running her hand through her damp hair.

"Yes?"

"Oh, eh, uhm—nothing, yeah nothing. Maybe see you later, or something."

"Sure."

Then the call ended, and a bright, loud message bannered across the top of Jen's phone before she could even react to the call. She pressed on it with a shaky thumb and clenched her jaw hard at the text. It was from Stephen, a short: "wish me luck!" with an obnoxious and taunting smiley emoji at the end. The bittersweet cherry on top.

"That fucking bastard." Jen whispered under her breath, blobs of saliva flying from between her teeth. She paused then, as if to try and comprehend what was really happening. Then she screamed, loudly and hoarsely like an animal, banging her fists against the steering wheel simultaneously. The car horn blared across the outlet, causing pedestrians to turn and stare in her direction.

Her sanity felt like it was ebbing away, but it didn't pull with it her determination. She felt then that everything had already been decided for her—she had to tell Marley. She had to make sure she wouldn't slip away.

After her tantrum subsided, Jen looked up from the steering wheel with heavy breaths to see the people who were staring into her car. Instead of pulling a stupid face or shouting immaturely, Jen just started up the car and reversed out of the parking lot as speedily as she could. Anxiety was the dominant emotion, rising in panic through the centre of her body. She was trying not to breach the speed limit as she rushed all over Delray, raking through her brain for somewhere that they could be. She was just praying that they didn't go back to his house.