Hey so it's been a long time since I've updated this book. I think for those of you who care and don't know yet, my mom and I have made pretty good improvements to our relationship. In terms of sleep, she let me get 3mg melatonin supplements (the ones I snatched before) and I take them frequently.
Also, since going to therapy, I've been professionally diagnosed (this time not by my dad who has it too) with ADD and anxiety. Both are probably genetic, since both sides of my family have them (and plenty of other mental conditions). Anyway my therapist doesn't recommend ADD medication as it could possibly worsen my anxiety. I don't mind that, I trust her decision, I'd personally rather not make my anxiety worse again for that reason.
That doesn't mean that these things don't still bother me. My dad said I should see an ADD specialist but when I brought this up to my therapist, she said it wasn't necessary. I don't think I've communicated how much it bothers me or how much it holds me back, even in daily activities that I enjoy.
On top of that, my body issues have returned. I was on antibiotics for a couple weeks and it made me retain water weight until I was off of them, I'm talking five pounds. I thought I noticed the physical difference before and after and I still think I do, but I try to convince myself that it's in my head. I look back on eighth grade photos, the photos where I starved myself and looked somewhat more thin, but it wasn't pleasant otherwise. My appetite has been fluctuating lately and I wouldn't mind losing it again. It sucks to think about, but that's my honest thought train. I wish I could emphasize it more to my therapist without her shutting me down.
