When Helping Becomes Painful | A Sanders Sides Story

Chapter 1

Art by ABD-illustrates on DA

Virgil's pov

I lazily open my eyes. I wake up in my bed, messy as always. My sheets are all over the place, half on my bed and half on the floor. My nights tend to be eventful. I look at the clock on my wall. 10:34. I managed to get 8 hours of sleep this time. Yet, it still feels like I haven't slept in ages. I try to get up, but my body hurts. Everything hurts. I think I'll stay in my bed a little longer. I close my eyes and bury my face in my pillow.

As I feel myself fall asleep again, I hear a high pitched sound. I quickly sit on my bed, starting to panic. The sound doesn't seem to be coming from anywhere, I guess it's only in my head. Yet, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. It takes me some time to realize what it means. But then, it hit me.

Thomas is panicking.

I quickly get up and put my hoodie on. I then snap my finger and appear in Thomas' apartment. I see him on the floor, hugging his knees and rocking himself back and forth. He doesn't seem to register my presence at first. I approached myself carefully and sit next to him. I call him gently. 

- Thomas? 

He rises his head at the sound of my voice. He looks so relief. 

- Omg Virgil ! You're here ! 

I smile gently and open my arms. He's almost throwing himself into my arms and I hug him back. I put my hands on his back and take a deep breath. My hands start glowing purple. I feel Thomas' panic slowly going through my arms. That's my power. As Thomas' anxiety, I'm here to regulate his responses to the stress coming from his surroundings. I can either give him more anxiety, like I did in the past by making him wonder about existential stuff at 3 in the morning, or I can take it from him. I feel Thomas ease up in my arms. I think I got it all. He breaks up our embrace and looks at me with the biggest smile. 

- Thank you so much Virgil ! Thank you thank you thank you ! 

He get up and exit the room, leaving me on the floor. I feel myself starting to shake. I quickly snap my finger and appear in my room. I couldn't make a step that I fell on the floor. I was on my knees, my head touching the floor, my hands on my head, almost pulling my hair off. I was crying, my heart was pounding loudly, my head was aching, everything around me started to fade and to spin around me. The thing is, I can't just take Thomas's anxiety away, it needs to go somewhere, it can't just disappear. So, each time I take Thomas' anxiety, I have to go through a panic attack. It's horrible, thoughts are swirling in my heads. It won't stop. Calling me things like stupid, worthless, pathetic... My lungs are hurting, breathing is getting harder and harder. And, suddenly, everything around me turns black.

***

I lazily open my eyes. I wake up on the floor, my arms feeling numb since I slept in an uncomfortable position. I manage to get up and drag myself to my door. Carefully, I open my door, looking to see if the hall is clear. No one in sight, I drag myself to the bathroom, which isn't far from my room. I close the door behind me and look in the mirror. My eyeshadow is a mess, it's all over my face. I sigh and grab a towel. I wash my face, put some eye shadow again under my eyes, to hide my dark circles, all to make myself look presentable. When I'm satisfied, I leave the bathroom, heading to the kitchen. My attack left me weak. I'm not really feeling hungry, but I should eat a little something or I'll feel worse. No one is in the kitchen when I get there. That's good, I'm not feeling like socializing right now anyway. I open the fridge and take some leftover pizza. It should do the trick. As I close the door, I see a royal head smiling at me. I jump, not expecting to see anyone.

-  What the hell Princey?!

He giggled a little. 

- Sorry Emo Nightmare, I didn't mean to trigger you.

I let go a deep sigh and put the pizza in the microwave. I feel him behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. 

- You know Virgil, I wanted to tell you that I'm really happy now that you've started to help Thomas more with his anxiety. He really is becoming happier every day and he is starting to follow his dream. Thank you for making my job easier instead of worse, like you used to do, haha ! 

He then left the kitchen, leaving me with a shiver going through my spine. How long will I have to continue to do this?

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