The Old Lady
WHAT is the difference between a princess, a thief, a general and a commoner?
I was a kid when an old lady asked me that. And I used to answer, "Big difference. The princess is nice and proper, the thief has no manners, the general is a good guy who protects and the commoner is, well, a commoner."
She would laugh and say, "You are still nothing but a child."
I crossed my arms on my chest. "I may be a child but I am a princess. A witch princess."
She just laughed again. "Allow me to tell you a story, witch princess."
Stories are fun! I sat on the floor and intently looked at her. Her emerald eyes stared back at me. Ohh. We have the same eyes. Weak smile is plastered on her wrinkled face. I just smiled at her too.
"The story is all about a princess. She's said to be the most powerful witch that ever lived. On every winter, a persona is created to control her power. And after winter, that persona will vanished. The princess always wanted to see that persona. So she waited. But no winter happened on the next three years. And when it does, the whole royalty died. Except for the witch princess. The princess strayed the streets. She became a thief just to fill her empty stomach. But the princess never failed to hope that someday something will free her from misery. And a general did. The general saved her from the street. He teaches her everything she ought to know. Until she became the general. But when she married, everything turned back to what it was in the first place. She bacame a princess once more. No, she became the witch. Just a witch. A witch who massacred the whole kingdom where she lived."
My eyes widened at her story. It's sad. It's so sad that I can feel my heart constricting in pain. Why do I feel that I am the princess?
"That's sad."
"And you know what? She regretted it. She regretted that she can't break her destiny. No matter how hard she try. She even traveled back in past to guide her past self, but it never did. Her destiny always end up the same."
I would have done the same if I were her. The old lady soon vanished as she said those words.
---
On every first snowfall, I would always see her and she would always ask me that. I'll always answer the same and she'll always say the same. She'll tell me the same story. And after that, she would disappear. And on snowfall, she will appear.
Until no snowfall covered the lands. Summer is prolonged until our weather revolve around, rainy, summer, fall and spring. But no winter. And from winter's disappearance, the old lady never came back.
I would always practice etiquette with my governess. She would always scold me for she said I am not acting befitting my status. I often skip my classes just to play outside. But she would always find me and scold me. My mama would not get angry with her because she was right.
I always end up learning more than what I need. Every morals, philosophy, etiquettes and duties are forced on me. I want to rant about it but what can I do? I am still nothing but a child. Helpless to their manipulation.
From all the hardships I had to endure my only consolation was staring outside my tower's window and wishing for winter to come. I would like to see the old lady again. I want to break free from this duty. From the responsibility my crown brings.
And winter came and my wish was granted. With a price.
Winter came and took everything away from me. My family, my riches, my crown and myself.
I lost myself and strayed the streets. I started to learn the art of picking something that isn't mine. I was fifteen when I became the thief.
"Yo Alice! Did you robbed some greedy old noble down the streets?" A drunk man greeted me. He stinks of sake.
"Nah. The greedy old noble tightened his security. He hired many mercenaries."
"Oooooh. Nobles. Selfish nobles. Always cared for themselves. Ignorant to the reality."
He offered me his sake but I refused. I bid him goodbye and marched toward my home. Pieces of scrap glued together to form a house.
I made some magic circles and my house lightened up. I looked outside and noticed that snow started to fall. Winter is starting.
I want to see the old woman again. And I want to break free from this life.
As I watched the snowfall a gentleman appeared before me. I knew him. He's papa's most trusted confidante. He adopted me to his home.
He was the general. He thought me military etiquettes. And I was 25 when he made me his lieutenant.
"Lieutenant Alice, the west border is collapsing. Shall we move our forces to the west or abandon it and continue to advance in the south?" Sir Alois asked me. We are at the camps. Planning for our next action. To win this war.
If I focus on defending the west border, the south will be left unguarded. A normal siege group can seize it. If I left the west border and continue to assault the south, there won't be enough time to get back the west.
"How about you deploy the mages? Have them hold out and we'll continue the assault in the south." I looked at the corporal beside me.
His beautiful amber eyes looked at me intently. He smiled. I suddenly averted my gaze away from him. What was that? Why? Why did my heart suddenly jump in glee?
I married him. I married the corporal. He loves me. I love him. We both quit the military and decided to live peacefully in a village as commoners. But nothing ever goes your way if you do not have power. The village is burned down to ashes. I was the only one who survived.
The king ordered to massacre the whole village in the hopes of killing me. Grief overcame my sanity. I remembered that I am a witch. I killed everyone in the kingdom. Anyone who stole my happiness from me deserves to die.
The whole incident left me alone. Lonely. Feared by everyone. I sat on the throne that left me miserable and isolated.
Until a deity came and ask,
"Are you the old lady?"
What? How could she think that I am the old lady I wish to see? And some works of magic destroyed what believe in.
I am her. I am the old lady. I am the lady whom I wish to save myself. I am her.
I was the princess in her story. She was me. In the hopes of changing her destiny, she traveled back in time. To warn me. But I never learned. I always end up entangled in the chains of destiny. When I assume that I've been freed, that I have escaped, that's where the destiny chains me to an inescapable fate. You see, no one can be truly free.
But I always hope. Hoping to change what has been foretold. Hoping to escape destiny's clutches. Forgive me, I never learn. History repeats itself.
I stared at the young witch princess in front of me. "What's the difference between a princess, a thief, a general and a commoner?"
She smiled and her answer was the same as mine when I was young. She was the younger me afterall.
If I can change my answer that time, I would say, "None." I became all of it. I was the princess, the thief, the general and the commoner. And now, the old lady in my memory.
