Zodiac Signs and Horoscopes

signs as things said at my friend's (public) school

aries: "i saw someone dab at lunch and now i want to kill myself"

taurus: "i'm going to call the police, the feds, the homeboys in blue, the po-pos"

gemini: "can you not fucking vape in the bathroom?"

cancer: "you may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but you're definitely a tool"

leo: "in a school full of thots, i gotta stand out by being a super thot"

virgo: "oh fuck off with that flat earth shit"

libra: "i give so many side eyes that my vision is widescreen now"

scorpio: "y'all be doing community service for your senior projects but imma cure cancer bet"

sagittarius: "ok your breathing is a little too loud can you shut up"

capricorn: "go out with you?? we have nothing common. you have a life"

aquarius: "i know we've been holding off on this project for the last few weeks but time to hustle bitches"

pisces: "you could be stressed...or you could get high"