Corvus (Stars and Sails, Book 1)

Forty-one (Part 1 of 2)

When Jade entered the infirmary, Oliver was laying down in one of the cots, covers drawn up over him, his shoulders bare and his eyes fixed on the ceiling. On the right of his head, a long strip of his hair was gone. Stitches remained in its place. Little flakes of dried blood were still caught in his hair and on the edges of his hairline.

Luckily, the bullet had only grazed him. Jade didn't know whether Fairburn had meant to kill him, but it didn't matter. Jade was furious. For Oliver's sake, she pushed it down. "Ollie," Jade whispered, running her fingers across his cheek. She crouched down at the bedside.

He stirred but didn't look at her. "Hey, Jade."

"How are you feeling?"

"Don't ask me that."

Jade felt like there was a rock stuck in her throat. Was that worse? That Fairburn shot Oliver twice, never enough to kill him both times? And it had taken Jade forever to understand that Fairburn had done it the first time because he could, because he wanted to retaliate against her and her father. Seeing Oliver in pain was far worse than experiencing the pain yourself.

Now it would take her an entire lifetime to understand what kind of person you'd have to be to do that to someone twice. It burned at her gut until she was an inferno, from her toes to the tips of her hair. And then the self-loathing began. The regret. She actually believed that she loved that man at one point. All she wanted was a second chance. Zelley deserved to die, but not like Fairburn did. There was nobody, not a soul that deserved to die as many times as she wanted him to die. But she only had one chance. She had to make it count.

Jade pushed the anger down and rubbed her thumb across Oliver's shoulder. "You know what I'm going to do?"

"Jade, I don't want you to kill him," he said. "I really don't want anyone to have to die. Not again."

Tears welled up in Jade's eyes. "You know I love you, right?" She kissed his left temple.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "I know it." He paused. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I know you wanted to kill Zelley, but he forced you to—"

Jade swallowed hard, trying not to remember Zelley and what he looked like after she and Fairburn pulled the trigger. "Yeah," she nodded. "I wanted him dead and now he's dead." She got up and headed to the door.

Oliver didn't say anything. It didn't take much to realize that Jade was lying straight through her crooked teeth.

"I love you too," he replied.

"I know," she whispered. "You're my world." She left the cabin, sniffing back tears. Out in the mess hall, Sabik sat, face blanched in horror. Jade turned to see what he was reacting to. Across the way, Suzuki stood proudly his fingers tangled in the bloody salt and pepper hair of Tobias Zelley's head. Just his head. It wasn't the cleanest cut either.

Jade's expression tightened. "Did you...did you cut his head off?"

"I did."

"Suzaku wants to preserve it," Sabik said matter-of-factly as he swung his leg up on his bent knee.

Suzaku looked down at the pale head in his hand. "My father asked me to bring Zelley back, dead or alive."

Jade's fingers shook. Her stomach roiled with misplaced revulsion and rage. Zelley was just a reminder that her hunger for revenge could never be satiated. "I see."

"You don't mind, right?" Suzaku asked. "I'm taking the credit. Because, you know, this is really all for a promotion, that I'm just uh, you know, preposterously overqualified for."

"Ask Fairburn, Jade replied. "I didn't kill him."

Suzaku's eyes fixed on her a little longer than usual as if he didn't believe her.

"Do you have any alcohol?" Sabik asked, glancing at Jade.

"How fitting," she said, walking across the mess hall to the cramped galley. "To bury that man in his own addiction." She dug in the shelves for the key, then opened the alcohol cabinet. It was filled top to bottom with rum. In fact, they'd just filled up days before the attack that killed her father. They all used to drink quite a bit. Alcohol was a great fix to everything--boredom, pain, sadness. Maybe that's why Jade wasn't coping so well. She hadn't drunk since the attack. She pulled out five bottles of rum and carried them back to the mess hall. Sabik and Suzaku's eyes went wide. Sabik rushed up to help her.

"I only need—" he glanced back at the head. "Four."

"Oh." Jade glanced at the remaining bottle in her hands. It was cool to the touch. She considered the thought of the cheap liquid running over her tongue for a moment. "I'll put it back."

Suzaku moved to the infirmary door, his trophy dripping blood all across the floor.

"I will meet you in the infirmary in a moment."

Suzaku slipped in the infirmary, eliciting a horrified gasp from Oliver. He shut the door.

Sabik looked down at the bottle of rum in Jade's hand. "The galley is that way," he pointed, noting that she seemed to be absconding to her room with a giant bottle of rum.

"Why do you insist on being so unpleasant?" she tightened her grip, not in the mood for a lecture about her health. It was her gods-given right to drink herself to death if she wanted. After all, she was a grown woman. It's not like drinking would get her in trouble. Not with company as dull as this.

"I just want to make sure that you are okay."

"Of course I'm okay," she snapped. "I won. Zelley's dead. That's what I wanted."

Sabik responded with a nod. Before he could say anything else, Jade locked herself in her cabin and threw herself onto her squeaky bed. She unscrewed the cap of rum and pressed the cool rim to her lips. Then, she sank it back.

Her father always liked the taste, but to Jade, it tasted as hot and dense as a desert summer. She pulled the bottle away to catch her breath.

"Gah!" she shook her head at the burning in her throat. It wasn't enough to deter her.

She drank more than she should have.