Guns & Roses.

Part 21 - Garbage.

Everything has died down. No noise, no gunshots but as I sit on the dirty, muddy ground I look around at the dead bodies that stain nature red. Blood. Something I will never be afraid off. What is there to be afraid of? When half my life, I cleaned my own blood of my body and wrapped my own wounds with bandages. I looked around, watching as Dominic's men walk around while the police are deposing up the bodies. It is quite funny that even though polices are supposed to be the good guys but instead they work under a mafia leader.

I can not seem to move or even run into the cabin to see if Elijah is okay, my legs have given up under me and my mind seems to keep drifting of to what just happened. Someone bends down in front of me as their shadow blocks out the sunlight, "Rose, I think you need to go check up on your son." With him mentioning Elijah, I look up and once again stare into his blue eyes but soon my eyes drift down to his hands which are dirty with a few stains of blood on them. I quickly divert my eyes and use both my hands as my strength to lift myself up. My legs buckle but before I could touch the ground once again, two arms go under my arms as he supports me up, "Be careful. Go inside and check up on Elijah, now. Also, get yourself cleaned up."

Nodding with no energy left in me, I walk into the cabin, making sure to shut the door behind me. I head towards the bedroom, holding onto the wall in the process for support.

I open the bedroom door, but scream when a pillow hits square into my face. I look up and see Elijah with another pillow, he quickly drops it and stares at me with wide eyes, "Mummy." He gulps and continues, "Mummy I sorry! I heard bangs! And I wanted to protect myself."

I do not pay attention to what he says as I just stare out in space - my feelings are running all over the place as I feel disturbed, disgusted and disheartened at what just happened. How can I just forget it? I am a woman, a human being.

"Elijah, go and wait by the shower I will be there in a few minutes but use the back door." He nods and slowly walks out of the opened door. When he's out, I shut the door with my back pressed against it, slumping to the ground tears pour out of my brown orbs. My body feels like it is burning in the fire's of hell as I dig my long nails into the inside of my thigh. I feel like screaming, screaming and expressing how much pain I am in.

Sobbing, I block my mouth trying not to be too loud. I bet you know this feeling, this feeling where you sit there crying out for help - silently, but no one can hear your pleads that you want them so badly to hear. The pain in your chest that describes the enduring pain you feel, your heart breaking as you feel like you been crushed down into a million pieces and you ready to just give up on life. That is how I feel right now.

I am ready to give up.

Four years ago

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" He screams at me, sending me deathly glares with those blood red eyes of his. I shiver, tears spilling from my eyes endlessly. Why? Why the hell did I leave the doctors reports under my bed!? He crumples up the piece of paper and throws it at my face. I raise my hand, protecting myself from the small weapon, I fail to be quick enough as it hits square into my face. "You such a slut and do you know what punishment sluts get?"

He turns his back at me, I take this moment to eye the front door that is just a mere steps away from me. I need to run, I need to protect myself from a future miscarriage. "Do not even think about it." What? Does he have eyes at the back of his head? I wipe my tears away, clearing up my blurred up vision and without a doubt I take off running to the door, I burst out of it as I leave the door open and carry on running down the street.

I pass all the rich mansions as I near the end of the road, happiness making its way through my soul when I finally see my escape route. Before my feet can take around skip, hands wrap around my body pulling me down. I trip on my open lace and fall onto the rocky road, a scream escapes from my lips as gravel pokes into my skin. "You think you can escape me? Well, sorry to burst-"

I close my eyes, blocking out everything his saying as I concentrate on what I need to do and what I should do. I have to escape.

Present

I remember clearly how I grabbed onto the black brick that sat on my far left and smashed it on dad's head. I never once looked back as I took off running like a maniac chasing his victim, once I reached the bus station which was a road away with our road in a sights view I turned around to see my father lying on the floor as the street light clearly showed the blood that oozed out of the wound that I have created.

He is coming and I know. He will never let me go so easily. When Elijah was born, his lungs collapsed and he was hospitalized so that is why Gabrielle sat through those horrid nights with me but dad soon found me and in the middle of the night he tried to kill me by injecting me with some paraplegic fluids but the nurses caught him just in time.

I remember when the polices dragged him out of the hospital, he looked back at me with hate in his eyes, "I will be back and I promise you Rose I will never let you live happily with that bastard of a child! I WILL KILL YOU BOTH!"

Those were his exact words - words that still haunt me up till today. Words that have pieced its way through my flesh, bones and heart. I know he will be back, back to avenge the death of his wife and unborn child..... That Dominic's father killed but I am blamed for their death - blamed because I am just a piece of rubbish in people's lives.

I am just a piece of unwrapped rubbish that when they do not need me - they will throw me away..... Just like everyone else.

I am garbage.