Boyfriend

Chapter 3

Liar Liar

"It is always the best policy to speak the truth-unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." - Jerome K. Jerome

Sunlight poured in through my bedroom window. I rolled over to my other side and pulled my blankets over my head. It didn't work. Not only did the blankets not block out the offending sun, but they also made it difficult for me to breathe. I pushed them back in agitation and tried to shut my eyes as tightly as I could.

For some obscure reason, I had this ominous feeling that I did not want to get up today, like I would find out some bad news that I was better off avoiding. I could not remember why, but I figured it was too early to question my subconscious motives. Even my conscious ones were a little bit bizarre. I forced my eyelids down tighter.

It still didn't work, and now I had to pee.

"Damnit," I muttered grouchily. Now I knew I could never get back to sleep. I threw my legs over the side of my bed and launched myself forward.

After blindly navigating to the bathroom and taking care of my pesky bladder, I stumbled tiredly into the kitchen for some food. My shorts had risen too high on my legs, my tank top was falling down, and my hair was pointing out in every direction. The kitchen was brighter than anything I'd encountered so far in my morning endeavors, and so I shielded my eyes with my arm as I yawned hugely.

"Good morning, sunshine," I heard a familiar masculine voice say between chuckles.

My eyes opened widely as though they had just gulped down nineteen shots of espresso on their own. James Potter was bloody sitting in my chair at my kitchen table and sipping my coffee with my mum! What the hell was going on?

I staggered backward as my tired brain tried to process the situation. Then, yesterday's stupidity came flooding back to me in a series of embarrassing images. I looked back down at my outfit and then up at Potter's smirking face.

"Crap!" I exclaimed before running the hell out of there. This time I noticed his low, husky chuckling was joined by my mum's higher-pitched giggles. Just ruddy perfect.

I scurried back to my room and hastily slammed the door shut. I rested my back against the closed door, and I tried to stop my ragged breathing from shaking my entire body as I rattled like a fish out of water. Eventually, my knees and my resolve gave way, and I sank to the floor. Merlin, it hadn't been a dream.

Unfortunately, I did not have as much time as I would have liked to mope on the floor. Normally, with the right motivation and the right level of PMS, I could wallow for days. However, a clanking noise against my window distracted me from the patheticness that some people called Lily Evans – when, of course, she was not being referred to as "sunshine." When the noise did not stop, I glanced over at Calypso's cage. Callie was sleeping tranquilly as her beak emitted almost inaudible, yet completely soothing, "hoo" sounds. Lucky bird.

I staggered over to my window in annoyance. I was surprised to find a bright green parrot tapping its beak relentlessly against the glass of my window pane. Instinctively, I rushed over to let it inside. It waited impatiently for me to untie the letter around its left leg before flying away without so much as a glance back.

If it was later in the day and my mind was not so overwhelmed, or, if I was not so anxious to read the letter's contents, I would have taken a moment to recognize how badly I wanted to fly away from this situation myself. Merlin, that was existential. Not too shabby for a girl who didn't stay in muggle school long enough to study Shakespeare. I tore open the letter and read it eagerly.

Lily!

I am so sorry! Really, you should just find a new best friend right now! I don't deserve the title! Force me to go on a date with Peter Pettigrew, or worse, Sirius Black! Make me talk about my cuticles with the dumb Hufflepuff girls in our year. Force me to quit Quidditch! Never allow me to eat any flavor of Bertie Botts besides vomit ever again!