Sam and I are sitting in my room. We decided it would be safer up here if my dad decided to come looking for us. We are supposed to be doing homework after all. It's a little awkward though as neither of us is saying anything.
"Alex?" Sam says, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?" I reply, giving him a questioning look.
I hope he doesn't ask why I was in my brothers' room or what I was doing. I think looking down at my hands.
"Why were you in Jesse's room?" He looks curious.
Fuck. Now I have to tell him. I could lie... No! I am not lying to my best friend, I never have and I don't want to start now. He isn't going to judge you. I think. You can tell him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I hear Sam say.
"Wha-oh, yeah! Sorry I spaced out."
"Why were you in your brother's room?" He asks again.
I take a deep breath and tell him. "I missed him and wanted to spend some time with him alone. Talk to him. Tell him I miss him."
"Oh," he says. Not at all judgemental. That's a relief. I have no reason to have doubted him. He's never been anything but kind to me.
"Have you been in there since..." He pauses. "You know. I thought you could never go back in there?" he finishes. Shit!
"I couldn't go in there for 3 months after he died." I start. "but after a while, I realized I needed to face my fear, that it would be the same as always, just... empty." I finish, looking at the floor.
"I understand, but that was my first time in there since, yeah... and to be honest I'm kind of spooked," he says. "Everything looks exactly the same as before"
"The first time is pretty weird. It takes a few times to get used to. I'm here for you, and the next time I'm thinking of visiting his room, maybe you can come with me? We'll get through this. We always do." I tell him resting my head on his shoulder. I haven't seen him this upset since the funeral.
"Alex?" Sam says.
"Yeah?" I respond
"Are you wearing one of Jesse's sweaters?" he asks. Oh, shoot I forgot all about that. I pull away from him, only to see that he's smiling.
"Maybe," I say with a shy smile.
YOU ARE READING
In Loving Memory
Teen FictionAlexandria V was a popular girl and loved by everyone until her older brother Jesse died in a car accident. Alexandria's world is turned upside down and she is having a lot of trouble dealing with her brother's death. She is going to need all the st...
