Comatose. [Part Two]

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She was close to tears; I could see it in her eyes. No matter how strong she pretended to be, I would always know when she was about to break.

Emma.

My Emma.

What had she done to me? What had I done to her? We'd both got in too deep than we wanted, and it was time I stopped it before I broke her heart...Or she broke mine. It was impossible to be around her.

"You can't leave! Not now, not after everything!" She shouted in my face and slammed her hands on the table. Normally I would tell her to calm down; she wouldn't want to cause a scene at Granny's. Not tonight. Tonight, I deserved her verbal lashings...

"I have to, love There's nothing left for me here. Being around you...it's not healthy. You drive me crazy, Swan. I just need some time with the sea." I tried to explain, but even I knew I was lying to myself and her. Being around her was driving me crazy, that much was true, but it wasn't why I was leaving.

I was leaving because I'm a coward. That's it. I can't and will never be able to give her the life she deserves. If I stayed, I would only hold her back, and I couldn't do that. I loved her too much. I would give anything for her...For my Swan. I would leave this cursed town forever if it meant she'd be happy.

And I wasn't sure that she loved me. A lifetime alone is better than a lifetime of pining after someone who would never look twice at you under different circumstances. Yes, she liked me. That much was obvious, but she could never love me. No one could. The things I've done, what I am, it's not exactly worthy of the Bachelor of the Year award. At least, that's what the selfish and cowardly side of me was saying. The part of me that had little sense was screaming at me to stay. Being around her was better than being without her.

The coward in me won.

"Killi-"

Ow.

"Don't use my name, love. It will make this all the harder." And hearing it might make me stay. I stood from the booth. A few patrons of the diner were eyeing our area, but none said anything. No doubt they'd heard everything.

I felt a small tug on my coat. I fought the urge to turn around. Seeing her broken and shattered would end me for good. I pushed her hand off me, savouring the final contact as I walked away.

I didn't look back.

-/-

The walk to the docks was hard. Every step I took made me want to turn and run back; to hold her in my arms and never let go.

I didn't. It was best for everybody if I left.

The docks were empty. Only the clashing of the shallow waves could be heard. My boat was tied at the end of a long pier. She still wasn't named, I had no inspiration. I'd thought about naming her after the Jolly, but it didn't feel right.

The gold paint cans were still on the pier. Leroy had helped me do some of the deck up; gold and white. It was a little to 'clean cut' for my liking, too precious, but I had to admit it looked good.

I stared at my boat for a little while. She needed a name before I left, it wouldn't be proper otherwise. I thought back to Emma, and the love I had for her. I think I'd known for a long time what I would call her.

I took my time painting the cursive letters on her butt. I wanted them on before I left.

Saviour, Swan.

Those two words meant a lot to me. Not only was she the saviour, she was my saviour. Because of her I was no longer driven by revenge and anger. She'd saved me so many times and in so many ways that I owed her everything.

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