TKIS <<NOMIN>>

52

Jeno had woken up by now and Yeonjun has gone back home after apologising to jeno and he accepted it.

After 3 weeks jeno was finally discharged from hospital and they were all now sitting in Jaemin's room, waiting for an explanation

"Ok" Jaemin breathed and looked at everyone

"I'll explain the stuff under my bed last. But basically as I told you, yes I knew Yeonjun was in a gang, and yes I was part of it. Why?? Because I wanted to make sure he was safe, and enemy gangs had already found me, kidnapped me and such. But you all thought I was staying at his a lot. So to be safe I joined. I learned a lot. But why didn't I use it against him?? It would of put me in a worse situation, he probably would have killed me. A question one of you will ask me, did I kill anyone?? You all tell me the answer to that" Jaemin said and leaned back

"You did" Jeno said and Jaemin nodded

"Not as much as the rest though. I didn't want to hurt them. You all know I wouldn't even hurt a fly. But to save the person I loved, I did it without a thought. I put myself in front of him to block a bunch of gun shots which could have killed me, without a thought. Because I loved him. I loved him so fucking much that when he raped me I was so hurt. I did a lot for him and I felt like he didn't care. Heck I've even gotten hit by a car for him. And trust me, it's nothing any of you want to feel. Jeno getting hurt was my fault. If I would have just killed Yeonjun or have him kill me, jeno wouldn't be in crutches right, he wouldn't of been kidnapped. Maybe we wouldn't of even met I don't know but I should of just let him kill me when he had the chance. None of you knew because I knew none of you would have supported it so I kept it to myself. All the times I stayed at Yeonjun for months I was probably unconscious. There isn't much under my bed but a few things. A gun, a knife with my name on it and a jacket design. That's all. Am I still in the gang?? Yes but me and him made a deal. He doesn't kill me and I stay in the gang but I don't have to do anything unless I'm really needed and I can still say no. Yeonjun won't kill me, he never will" he finished and sighed

"Oh yeah, if you want don't want to even look at me anymore then I understand. And no my depression wasn't fake. Why would I fake to kill myself and beg to have myself killed . You may leave now" Jaemin said and left to go into bathroom and locked the door before letting the tears leave his eyes. Yes he regretted everything, if he could turn back time he would but that wasn't possible. Looking at all Of their faces break as he explained everything hurt him so much. This wasn't the Jaemin they knew and maybe he'll come back, we may never know but all Jaemin could do right now is drop to the floor and hug his knees and cry.

Looking around the room a few hours later his eyes landed on a bottle. A bottle with pills. He had never opened that bottle yet, he's had them for months but never dared to take them.

Using all his strength, he got up and walked over to them. He picked them up and stared at the bottle.

Is this it?? Jaemin thought

No one was going to go after him, after hearing that story anyway. He was pretty sure everyone who was in that room hated him and he hated himself too.

He has the freedom to finally end it all but what's stopping him??

Lee Jeno

That's who's stopping him.

But did it stop him enough?? No

He poured all of them in his mouth, and swallowed them all.

When he opened the bathroom door he was shocked.

Shocked to see everyone still in there

"G-Guys"

"Why do you think we would ever leave you Jaemin??" Jaehyun asked and got up

"If it was Taeyong I would of done the same exact thing. We all would of. It's not just you" he spoke again and Jaemin broke down

"I'm so sorry"

"Don't be sorry" jeno said and got up and walked over to him with his crushes

"No, I-I mean- I didn't think properly. I didn't know you all would be in here. I'm so-" Jaemin stopped and looked around him. Everything was moving. This feeling felt familiar to him. It was kicking in, the overdose of antidepressants. He didn't even realise haechan screaming and running back into the room with an empty pill bottle. Everything was fuzzy to him, a drunk feeling, but nowhere near the same.

He couldn't hear them call his name. He couldn't hear anything and just fell back, right where mark was standing, so he had caught him and didn't bash his head on the cabinet behind him