(This is kinda sad, yikes)
Lisa's pov:
Me and Rosie were currently laying on her bed, my arms around her and none of us was speaking. It was a peaceful night but deep down we both knew that things weren't so good between us, turns out that keeping our relationship hidden wasn't so easy as we hoped it would be. Of course we knew it was going to be very hard to keep from the company, the managers, the media.. but we always thought that we could do it and we kind of did, but in order to do that things between us started to get worse day by day. In order to keep everything a secret and not let anyone being suspicious we kinda needed to get away from each other unfortunately, we've always acted friendly around each other and people were already talking about us being together, after we actually got together we thought pda would be too risky, when we did it as friends we wouldn't really think about it but since we were dating we kind of became paranoid and really scared of anyone finding out because it could risk not just ours but all the members careers. Jennie and Jisoo were very supportive but they were also scared, not just for the group but for us, how we would be able to deal with this, we all knew that coming out was not an option, at least for now but we thought we could still be together with no difficulties, we really didn't expect that it would be this hard, our lives are busier and busier everyday, we barely have time to ourselves in the dorm, me and Rosie try to have as much time alone as we can when we are back home but it's still really hard because of all the schedules we have.
Because of all of this our biggest fear has came true, we were drifting apart. We still talked, we laughed together, we kissed and cuddled when we were alone but I could feel that we had least and least words to say to each other every time, this really crushed me but there was nothing I could do about it. As much as I would love for us to be together with no limitations it just wasn't possible. So here we were, wrapped in each other's embrace, without saying anything, both afraid of adressing what we knew it would happen.
I love her, I love her so much it hurts, that's why we need to solve this, I can't keep hurting her, this isn't good for any of us, it's also selfish to the group, if we deteriorate our friendship it would affect everyone. I love her more than I love anyone else and that's why I need to let her go.
I'm shaken out of my thoughts when I hear sniffing beside me, she has been crying this whole time and she's been trying to hide her face so I wouldn't notice, this breaks my heart.
- Rosie what's wrong? - I ask even thought I know the answer.
- You know what's wrong Lalisa. - she turns to look at me - I love, I love you like I've never loved anyone, I love you so much it hurts and I really don't wanna lose this but I don't think we can keep this up anymore, it's getting harder, we can't even look at each other outside this room without people starting to make things up about us, I wouldn't care about it if it didn't risk our careers but it does, not only ours but the girls' too, we can't do that to them, it would be wasting all of our hard work from this last year's away and I-
I cut her off with a soft smile, I know everything she's trying to tell me and I know where we is getting this.
- I love you Park Chaeyoung, I love you so much, like I've never loved anyone in my entire life and I don't think I'll ever feel this way again, I hate to admit that maybe it's the best for us and for the group that we stay as friends, best friends like we've always been since our trainee days - we were both crying freely at this point whole we hold hands and look at each other with red eyes - I want you to know that I'll always be here for you no matter what, I'll always be your best friend, and Rosie I promise, I swear to god I will wait for you, I will wait for us. I love this group with my whole heart but if one day we aren't compromised with the company anymore I'm here and I swear I'll still be yours, when our time comes I'll be here, our time is gonna come Rosie I know this.
- I love you so much Lisa I.. - she continues to sob like crazy so I just hold her in my chest.
- Shhh Chaeyoung it's okay, promise me you'll keep being your happy self, we'll still be together, just as we've been In the last couple years okay? We just have to wait a little longer until we can kiss again but that day will I come, I promise.
- Can you kiss me one last time for now? - she stared at me dead in the eyes and I didn't answer, I just kissed her.
It was the saddest but most passionate kiss we've ever had, it was sweet with the bitter taste of our tears, we kissed each other like our lips were oxygen and we were suffocating, this made me even more sure that I love this girl to death and I'm willing to wait for her no matter how long it takes.
After what it felt like ours we finally broke apart and we closed our eyes while our foreheads touched. After a while she looked into me eyes and whispered.
- I'll be yours forever Lalisa, I promise.
