A F T E R D A R K | PAUL LAHOTE - 1

32

Rosalie and I had spent the entire night talking and I hadn't even realised it was sunrise until she pointed the fact out to me. What she had told me was.. morbid and my heart ached for her. What she had to go through was any woman's worst nightmare and I was subjected to her pain — it was almost suffocating to feel. The both of us were quick to realise —though — that we were quite similar in our human lives.

We wanted the same thing although some of what I wanted was different due to how the times had changed since Rosalie was my age. She was eighteen when she transitioned into this life, the same as me, and at that time she had her heart set on marriage and children. She thought she had the perfect man but in actuality he was the very opposite.

At first I struggled to believe what she was telling me but as she went on the more horrific it was. My heart really went out to her but she wasn't after sympathy.. she never was.

So as the sun rose that morning I realised that Rosalie Hale was one of the nicest people I'd ever met. She was hostile towards my sister not because she didn't particularly like her but because of her choice.. her want to become a vampire. Bella was throwing the life away that Rosalie would give anything to have and for that she envied her.

It was down to jealousy if you wanted to look at it in a specific way but I felt the same now. The life I wanted as a human would never happen and it was an exceptionally hard pill to swallow. Even now, it was still lodged in my throat.

Bella had the opportunity to have a family, grow old and watch her grandchildren playing by the porch but she wanted to throw it away.. and for what? To live an eternal life with Edward? I get that she liked him but it just wasn't my idea of the perfect life. But I had to look at it from Bella's perspective, it was what she wanted.

I wanted a nice house, a long and healthy life with Paul, a good job and kids. Bella wanted to be a vampire, living her eternal life with Edward.

Her choice wasn't selfish, it was personal.

Since I stopped sleeping I'd had a lot of time to myself. A lot of time in my head, a lot of time to think. I was starting to see things from Bella's perspective instead of seeing it partially blind and while I still didn't agree I understood.

She did what she had to in order to save the love of her life. Edward was Bella's mate per say, like Rosalie had explained to me they were soul-mates.. as cheesy as it sounded. When I put myself into the perspective of Bella I struggled to find myself not agreeing with her decision. If it had been Paul who was about to die I.. probably would've done the same.

Since then I'd come to the ultimate conclusion that I thought too much and the following night Alice and Jasper helped me study.. because I still had that to face. I worked on my speech in secret, texting Jessica back and forth with ideas. This whole not sleeping thing was really giving me the kick up the ass I needed.

What the family of vampires were unaware of was that I'd had my first vision.

That redheaded bitch running through our territory and it was happening tonight.

Carlisle told me they were going to hunt but Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and I had driven up to Olympia in the early hours of this morning to do that very thing.

It was how I found myself contemplating my stupidity, sitting high up in a tree in Cullen territory. I was trusting my vision and my newly developed senses. It was hard referring to what I'd seen to match everything up.

I faintly heard the thudding sound of several people running towards me and although I couldn't see them now I knew it would be a matter of seconds before they ran underneath me.