The Lightest Path

24

When they came home, Grace was in a funny mood. The paint on her face was being smudged.
Laughing and talking they walked inside. Grace clicked on the light and dimmed it a little. In the bathroom she washed away the paint. "I still can't get used to the fact that we have electricity and stuff," she said amused and glanced over at Bucky. He sat on the bed, watching Grace taking care of herself.
"Yeah, me neither," he said a little distracted. "But it's not wrong though. Then I don't need to light up a fire like a real man." He grinned boyishly.
Grace rolled her eyes.
"Don't get it high in your head, James Barnes."
Chuckling he moved a little aside for her and Grace fell down on the bed. "Gosh I'm tired," she moaned. "Why, oh why did I agree on dancing with you?"
"It's not my fault that I have talent and we had a lot of fun."
"It was a lot of fun when M'Baku claimed me for almost an hour." Grace laughed at the memory. The harsh man had grasped Grace by the elbow, telling Bucky that he had to wait a moment with his white face - he would dance with the White Doll like a "real Wakandan man".
Bucky had let him, laughing at how Grace stumbled to keep up with his rhythm. A little later he claimed Shuri and then Nakia for the night, as long as Grace was taken.
"Oh, definitely. The highlight of his evening," Bucky mumbled sarcastic as he lied next to her.
"Not yours?" Grace asked mockingly. Bucky did as if he thought deeply about it.
"Nah."
She laughed.
"But tell me," she then said and Bucky quirked his eyebrow up. Grace rolled to face him, leaning with her head on her hand.
"Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?" he asked and Grace sighed deeply, making Bucky laugh quietly.
"I don't want a present from you," she then said. "But I'm curious."
"It's second handed," corrected Bucky.
"It's still a present."
"So?" He shrugged. "What's the big deal? I want to give you something."
"How do you know I'll like it?" Bucky sighed, clearly not interested in her discussion and Grace chuckled softly.
"Doll, what is it that you want mostly in this world?" he then asked suddenly and Grace was being overwhelmed by his question. "Something you wish to have."
"You," she then said and Bucky smirked.
"Something you don't already have," he said as he flicked her nose. Grace blushed a little at his words, but gathered her strengths again.
"I wouldn't wish for myself," she then said. "I already have everything I want and need. I would wish for you instead."
Bucky's expression became unreadable to Grace for a moment-and that hurt, because it was a very deep and strong emotion that crossed his face. He then smiled sweetly, grabbing her hand and holding it.
"Okay," he said a little hesitant. "What would you wish for me?"
"To take a new arm, for example," she said. Bucky already sighed-they hadn't actually talked about this, but it was something that had to be done. "I know that you're not fond about it, but it could be very good for you. See it as progress."
"A new arm," he repeated, not very enthusiastic. "Something else than that?"
"To see a psychiatrist," she said without hesitating. "It will be good to talk about... everything."
"I talk with you." Bucky smiled at her.
"I know," she mumbled and looked at their hands. "But you don't want to tell me everything."
"Because some things... I just don't want you to know."
"Why not?" Bucky searched for words, trying to explain.
"I'm afraid... you will look differently at me than you do now. I like the way you look at me. I don't want that to change." Then he shook his head. "It's stupid, but I some things aren't meant for you to know."
"Then a psychiatrist would be good," she held on to. "You can tell this person everything, and he has to keep it to himself. You can pour your heart and mind out without being afraid of judgement. Isn't that something good for you? So you can let things go?"
Bucky kept silent for a moment.
Then he decided not to answer that.
"Isn't there anything else you would want?" Grace sighed tiredly.
"Maybe one thing," she said. "But it isn't something you can give me." Bucky didn't seem very pleased with that.
"And what's that?"
"To be there when a war starts. A war where we will be involved with. I want to help people then-be as close as possible."
"That's not gonna happen," Bucky said without thinking. He locked eyes with her-serious as death.
"What do you mean?" Grace asked a bit confused. "That there won't be a war soon? I hope not."
"I'm talking about you being at a battlefield," he corrected her without a glimpse of mercy.
"That's not your call to make," Grace reminded him.
"Grace, believe me; you don't want to be there. It's chaotic, messy and terrible. You have to stay away as far as possible."
She overthought his words. Then she sat up upright. "People need help then. I'll be as close as possible."
"If the enemy breaks the line you'll be damned." Not a single word was being lied.
Grace then sighed. "So you just drag me to another country if I come too close?" she asked without humour.
"If I have to."
A silence fell between them. "It's my birthday, does that mean I can't wish?"
Bucky rolled his eyes, didn't like this. He kept silent, seemed to think about something. Maybe consider. Grace waited patiently for his answer.
"Okay," he then said. "I'll fulfil your wishes if you fill mine."
Grace raised a brow. "Wishes?"
He then started to grin like an idiot. "I'll take a new arm and a psychiatrist if you marry me."
She needed to let that sink in for a moment. "Yeah, right. I think I missed the clue."
Bucky sighed. "I'm almost offended, Grace. I just asked you to marry me, and you think I'm joking."
"James, act serious." He didn't move a muscle when she spoke to him with his first name.
"I am serious," he threw back. He had a very serious and sincere look in his eyes.
"Oh please!" Grace said with a slightly hysterical undertone in her voice. "I'm twenty eight!"
"And I'm over a hundred years old. I think I'm ripe for marriage."
Grace looked out of the dark window and tried to push away her panic before Bucky could notice it.
"Listen, I'm not jumping to get married, okay? It was the death kiss for my mother's first marriage."
"Interesting choice of words."
"You know what I mean."
Bucky took a deep breath. "You're telling me that you have a fear of commitment?" He voice sounded unbelieving and Grace understood what he meant.
"That's not it," she turned around. "I was just raised... to be afraid of marriage. Both my parents had a lot to say about it, even though they were happily married."
"Because they wanted for you to end up eternally damned instead of getting married." Bucky laughed grimly.
"You think I'm joking?"
"Grace, binding yourself by marriage is something different than giving up your life to save others who would be dead anyway." He shook his head. "If you don't have the courage to marry me, then..."
"Okay," she interrupted. "What if I said yes? What if I would go to a chapel with you right now? Would you let me go in the very morning to a war-zone so I can help people?"
He smiled and his teeth shone in the dark. "Of course," he said, even though his voice sounded a little unsure. But he wasn't beaten by this. "I'll arrange a ride to the city."
"Damn it," mumbled Grace. "Okay, one mile of distance."
"No, he said grinning. "Four. I like this prerequisite."
"Fine. Then I'll let T'Challa arrange something for me so I'll be safe and close."
"If you want that." Bucky raised his shoulders. "The soldiers probably won't be happy about it and desert you, ending up dead." His smile became unbearable.
"You're so bad," moaned Grace. "I don't want to call you a monster, but you're beginning to turn into one with all your talking."
He chuckled, not offended or touched by her words. "Is that why you don't want to marry me?"
Grace moaned again. Bucky leaned towards her, his blue eyes glowing in the dark and Grace couldn't concentrate anymore. "Please, Grace?" he whispered.
For a moment Grace didn't remember how to breathe. "Maybe it would've been better if I had time to buy a ring first?"
"No! No rings!" Grace shrieked, way too loud because all the animals outside woke up.
"Now you blew it."
"Oops." Grace pushed him a little away, jumped off of the bed and started changing clothes. "It doesn't matter. I can't."
"I won't stop," promised Bucky.
Grace smirked. "We'll see who wins this."