The Selected

Dead to Them

Present Day

After seconds, minutes, an hour of silence, the shock wore off.

"I can't go, I'm dead to them-- literally."

"You're going"

"Like hell I am!" I bit out.

He could ask anything of me, really anything, and I would agree, I would do it for him without hesitation; anything but this. This was something I was not equipped to handle, something I could not train for and prepare myself for. After all, how do you reunite with the foster family who believed you to be dead, killed in a barbaric ritual sacrifice?

"Addie," He sighed, "you're my best and brightest when it comes to hunters. It makes no sense for me to take anyone else."

Damn him for being reasonable.

"I can't go back there, Connie! They think I'm dead, it would ruin everything about the Selection and all of that bullshit!" I fired back, slightly smug at the fact that my argument seemed to be airtight.

He rolled his eyes, "I don't care, Addie, I'll say I spared you for some just as bullshit reason. You're coming with me."

"Why would Alan even reach out to you?" I asked, hoping that if I could derail him a bit that I could convince him to let me stay here, "He hates you, especially after I was Selected."

"He's desperate, Ad," He answered, "And honestly I think seeing you would make them feel a bit better, more relaxed maybe. So I do have more than one reason to bring you."

I snorted, "I doubt they'll be happy to see me at all."

Conrad stood from his desk and came around front, leaning so that he was partially sitting on the edge of it right in front of me, "What makes you say that?"

Lifting a brow at him, I huffed. What did he want me to say, exactly? He knows I've never been one for mushy feelings of emotions. Did he want me to air out the idea that maybe I was a bit insecure about what they'd think of me? And maybe the fact that I had once been sweet, gentle Adelaide and that's what they'd expect if they saw her again. But me now? Now I'm a killer, a whore, and a hot fucking mess with no sign of change on the horizon.

"I'm not nice," Was all I gave him through gritted teeth.

His eyes narrowed as he frowned a bit, like he wanted more from me. More emotion, probably, more vulnerability and acknowledgement to the fact that I'm human (partly) and that I don't have to be so damn good at compartmentalizing everything I felt. Yeah, I could read him like an open book.

Finally, he just nodded before speaking with all of the authority of an Alpha, "Fine. You will come with me to the Phoenix Pack, Adelaide. We leave tomorrow."

The weight of his command settled over me and I snarled at him, "Bastard."

Before he could argue anymore or tell me to sit my ass back down, I stormed out of his office slamming the door behind me and into my bedroom and the en suite bathroom. Turning the water to steaming hot, I stripped quickly and hopped in, letting the burning hot water pour over my skin, trying to cleanse myself of that hunter and all of the baggage he'd inadvertently reminded me of.

I looked down at my marred body, skin littered with scars and imperfections. Every mark on my body represented a different part of me, the difference between who I am now and who they had known me as. I knew that wouldn't approve of who I am now, and that thought alone nearly killed me.

Numb, skin rubbed raw, I stepped out of the shower and into my robe and instantly laid on my bed, curling into a ball on my side. I felt my mental brick wall collapse as memory after memory flashed before my eyes. Memories of the hunters, nightmares that haunted me for years. Memories of the Simmons, of the happy and simple life I had lived while with them.

Tears slipped from my eyes and I let them.

My door opened and, wordlessly, Con slipped into the bed with me, pulling me to him so that I was cradled in his arms. I didn't speak, didn't make a sound as the tears silently slipped from my eyes at their own pace.

On the inside, I felt about as raw as my skin did after I scrubbed it down in the shower. Somehow, I simultaneously felt numb and completely devastated. Is that possible? To feel nothing and everything all at once?

Conrad just laid with me, his presence strong and comforting, his hand running up and down my back in a soothing motion.

After a long while, plenty of time after the tears had stopped flowing, I spoke again, "I hate this."

"Hate what?"

"Crying. Feeling. Being reduced to a blubbering mess by a tattoo and the premise of seeing my family," the words come tumbling out and I bite my lip after to keep anything else from spilling forth.

He just takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him, and his eyes are gentle yet fierce as he tells me, "Adelaide, you are the strongest person I know. You have survived and thrived through so much. Feeling things and crying does not take away from your strength. Okay?"

I nodded.

He tucked me back into his arms.

"It does not make you weak to be hurt by things."

I knew what he meant by it, and knew it was true enough, but this wasn't threatening to just hurt me. It threatened to unravel me entirely.