Personal Accounts Of Dumb Shit

Falling From Grace

I was in a state park of some sorts in California.
I was a good mioe down the hiking trail before my body decided my bowels needed to release ASAP.
Waddle back down the path towards the public restrooms as quickly as I can.
Literally as I am beginning to pull my pants down, I am unable to stop the release of some into my underwear.
Whatever.
It sucks and is gross.
But I clean it up, finish my business, and go on my merry way.
Decide to leave the park and go home.
Driving for about an hour in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.
Bowels make themselves known once more.
But this time there is no time for finding a bathroom.
I am forced to pull over on a mountain curve.
I hurry to grab tissues from the glove box.
I blast out of the car and to the ditch, determined to get just far enough into the woods where I won't be seen from the road.
Except there is no ditch.
There is a hill.
One might even call it close to being a drop off.
I slip and fall down half the height of this hill before I stop.
Immediatly pull down my pants and my ass defects.
Climb back up the hill while desperately hoping not to fall and roll down to my own mess.
Finally escape and am forced to live with the shame forever.