Where is the Sun?

xix.

Things you want to say to an ex:

Thank you for the broken memories. It taught me how to pick myself up again. It taught me that I become weak around love, and the idea of love. Thank you for the kisses. Thank you for the lies. Thank you for looking at me, because it led to this letter that I’m now starting to write. Thank you for showing me that boys can be rude. They can be ugly and they can be weak. Thank you for letting me realize that you are not what I want in a relationship. Thank you for letting me realize that I can do better. Thank you for the times you ignored me. Thank you for the times you belittled me. Thank you for the times you forced yourself upon me. Thank you for the times you felt embarrassed to hold my hand in public. Thank you for the time you told me not to kiss you where others could see. Thank you. Because it made me realize that I can do better. Thank you. Because it showed me that I am a strong woman. Because most women in that situation- they think they would stop. They would question why they were being treated in such a way- yet they would not step up. They would continue to love such a loveless thing. They would continue to bleed until they were drained dry with nothing left. So thank you. Because you made me know that I’m not one of those women. Because when you came, I realized I was better. I realized that I could be more. And that I didn’t need to degrade myself in order for anything- not you, not me, and certainly not the relationship- to work. I just needed to say ‘enough.’ That I had had enough. And that I was enough. So thank you. Because you taught me, that I’m worth more than hidden kisses and stolen lies. You taught me that I am a woman. And I deserve a love that will last and be kind. I deserve someone who will look at me with care. Look at me with hope. Thank you. Because you made me realize that you are not, and will never be, the one.