The Night We Met (KamiShin)

The First Letter

Dear Denki,

I passed by the bus stop the other day. I'm not sure what exactly I was doing there, or even what I was looking for. All I know is that lately, my body has been working on auto-pilot; moving mindlessly through the maze that is life. I'm not sure where I'm going anymore. It even seems as though I've even forgotten which way is left and right. I feel like a puppet. A puppet under control by my own nostalgia and remorse. I can't seem to control myself anymore. Anyway, that's not really the point.
I'd wandered out into the city. I couldn't bare being locked up any longer, alone, with my own thoughts. Every time I try to think about something else, it's as though my body gets sucked up into a black hole. A wormhole, where the final destination is always the memory of you. Of who you once were.
I began to wander about in an unconscious manner. The only sounds I could previene were the slapping of the soles of my shoes against the humid concrete, and a loud ringing inside my ears.
I just can't stop the sound from playing about inside my brain. How can I? When the only thing I know is that your being is slowly slipping through the gaps between my fingers.
Nevertheless, for some reason I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up, trying to locate where I was. And it hit me.
No matter what I did— no matter where I want, the trails I take will always lead to you. Why is that? Why can't I get you out of my head? I'm being haunted every day by the past. By what I once had. Who would have guessed that in just the span of six months, I would experience all the emotions that I was never able to in my whole sixteen-and-a-half years on this planet.
That bus stop looked so empty. As the sun began to set, rain began to pour. Funny, right? Do you remember?
I don't know why I did, but regardless, I sat down under the shelter provided by the stop. And all of a sudden, for the first time ever, I understood how you felt. And I began to cry.
Your life is coming to its very end. The curtain is just about to close. I had all this time to prepare for it, and yet I still can't accept it. Oh how the roles have switched. Once upon a time you were the one sitting where I was.
You were the one crying as the night sky clouded and wept. I remember everything so clearly.
I was exiting a store, right behind the stop. Everything was quiet, and the streets were as vacant as an abandoned warehouse. I heard sobbing.
Loud and agonizing, and I hand no idea what the source was until I shifted my attention towards the only figure present.
It was you.
Your body lay curled up on the cold, metal bench. You were shivering as fat tears rolled down your rose-stained cheeks. Your honey eyes melted with sadness, and though I hadn't seen your face I knew that I was already falling for you.
Do you remember the night we met?
It irked me. Filled me with curiosity. My father always taught me to stay out of things that didn't have anything to do with me. Either way, I still walked around the stop to get a good look at you. You looked so vulnerable. Goosebumps adorned your bare arms, and your hands clutched the thin fabric of the top you were wearing. It was an AC/DC shirt. Do you remember?
I stood next to you for a while, holding onto my umbrella as I sighed into my scarf. You must've thought that I was just another pedestrian, waiting for the bus to take me god-knows-where. But when the last bus of the night left without me, you turned your head.
We locked eyes. My chest began to warm up in a way it never had. Your lips parted as if you were going to say something. All I heard was the pounding of the rain against the roof of the stop and a small croak coming from your throat.
I blinked in confusion, but my eyes were wide and observant. I had never taken the time to look at someone for such an extended amount of time. You mesmerized me. And you still do.
You stopped crying, and your whimpers were drowned out by delusional laughter. You wiped your tears with your index finger and shrugged in a friendly way.
My heart began to thump in awe. To this day I still don't fully comprehend why you did that.
You rubbed your biceps as to create a bit of heat. Shivering, you let out an awkward chuckle.
"Cold night, innit?"
Those were the first words I heard come out of your mouth. They sounded forced. Yet your tone left no evidence to prove that you'd been crying just a few seconds ago. I had no words to say to you. I just couldn't think of anything smart enough to compliment what you'd just said.
You scooted to the side, patting the bench and inviting me to sit down next to you. I hesitated for a split second, but I didn't let the opportunity pass by. I closed my umbrella and tapped it a few times against the concrete to shake away the rain. I didn't ask what was wrong. I should have.
"Um... you just missed the last bus..."
You looked at me, waiting for an answer. I looked away, down at my soaked shoes. You noticed that no response would come from my end. So you did the same. You kicked your legs back and forth, splashing your feet against a puddle. I noticed your smile slowly fading away, and another tear making its way down your face. Water seeped into the fabric of your frayed jeans. You shivered a bit more.
I sighed again, and slowly began to unzip my jacket. It was thick and warm, colored a deep gray. I stood up and handed it to you.
Your warm eyes looked at me in confusion. Your hands reached for the jacket, shivering as your fingers made contact with the object. You tried to protest, but then you noticed that I was wearing a sweatshirt underneath.
I remember you putting it on, the sleeves being too long for you. You zipped it and sunk your chin into the collar, hugging your body as you began to cry once more.
I left without another word. I didn't care if you kept my favorite jacket. Because from now on, you were my favorite person. I didn't even know your name. I had given my coat to a stranger in the midst of the cold.
You called for me, but I didn't listen. I knew I most likely wouldn't see you again. Still, it would be hard— trying to forget you.
I prayed that I would have the chance to bump into you once more. My prayers were obviously answered, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
But as I sat on the bench, I became enraged. What if I had never met you? I wouldn't be going through this. Definitely not. I wish I hadn't fallen for you so easily. I wish I had never stopped to give you my jacket.
Because now I'm forced to watch you rot away slowly in a white room. Nobody is doing anything about it. Nobody seems to care except for me. Why isn't anyone helping you?
I wish there was a way to fix all this. I want to go back in time.
I want to go back to the night we met.

(Unedited)