Nightmare - Secret Identities Book 1

Chapter 29

Virgil's POV

I followed Roman into his apartment.  The drive from the hospital had been tense.  I'd tried to read his thoughts—to get the slightest bit of information from him about how he was feeling—but, even when I tried to take down the walls around his mind, I got nothing; he'd managed to block me out again.  I turned around and closed the door gently, the sound being the only one in the room.  When I looked at Roman, he had his hand raised.  I squeezed my eyes shut out of instinct, backing up until I hit the door.

Slowly, his hand cupped my cheek, his fingers glancing over my cheekbone.  His hand shifted, and his knuckles tickled my jaw.

I relaxed into the touch, leaning into the feeling.

Roman's POV

Virgil's eyes fluttered open.

He'd looked so scared when he saw me.  "N, you didn't think I'd—that I could ever...  You know I never wanted to hurt you, right?"

"I-I was scared that may-maybe you were mad..."

"I am mad," I admitted.

He looked at me with wide, fearful eyes.

I brushed the hair out of his face.  "I mean what I said, Virgil; I love you-"

"For now."

I hardened my gaze in warning but continued, "And I never wanted to hurt you.  What happened during our escape will never happen again; I promise."  Moving my hand to his cheek again, I pulled him into a kiss.

He pressed firmly against my chest.

Getting the hint, I pulled away.

"We... should have that talk now."  He stared at where his hand laid. "Oh, I am going to regret saying that."

I sighed.  "It needs to happen at one point or another.  I think we've put it off long enough; don't you?"

He let out a whine and leaned in, resting his head on my shoulder.  "You'll hate me," he whispered.  "You probably have so many questions, and, when you ask them, you're gonna hate me."

"I actually don't..."

"What?"

I leaned my head against his.  "I should; my head should be riddled with questions, but it's just blank.  I don't know if I'm too happy to have you back to think about that, or if, maybe, I already know the answers."

"Do we still have to-to talk then?"

I nodded, but neither of us pulled away.  I wrapped my arms tightly around him.  We stayed like that for a while before I finally let go.  Taking his hand into mine, I lead him to the couch, taking a seat across from him.

He stared at the coffee table.

"How are you, Virgil, really?" I asked.  "You told Janus that you were fine, but don't think for a second that I haven't noticed your hands have been shaking since you woke up."

His eyes met mine for a second before looking at where his hands laid in his lap.  "It's-"

"Don't say 'It's nothing,' either."

"I'm in a lot of pain.  Is that what you want to hear?  Everything is a threat because my anxiety is overruling my powers.  I don't know what to think anymore... and I'm scared; I'm scared that you'll ask me something I won't know the answer to, or worse..."  He looked up at me.  "Is that really what you wanted?"

I nodded.  "I want you to be honest with me."

He brought his knees up to his chest and leaned back.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll live.  I'm kind of getting used to being asked questions at this point."

"I'm sorry."

He waved me off.

"Why didn't you tell me about your powers?"

He chuckled dryly.  "How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm not only a Paragon, which I lied to numerous people about, but that I'm also hated by the entire city because my brother poisoned me with snake venom, causing me to lose control and forcing them to live their greatest fears?  Why didn't you tell me about your late-night activities, Princey?"

"It was for your own safety."

"'My own safety,'" he repeated, doing air-quotes.  "I'm calling bullshit."

"The night you told me about your nightmares, you said that you were being tortured in them.  You also knew that Janus was going to be taken.  How?  Can you see the future?  Is that one of the many things you can do?"

"No, I can't see the future—not really, at least.  In my sleep, I sometimes read more open minds.  I can see the future they wish for, but not necessarily a certain one.  It's just... whatever they're thinking about.  I knew about Jay because..."   He stopped, and his voice lightened a bit.  "Well, you were there," he laughed.  "When we were together one night, you kept seeing a snake."  He sat up again.  Calmly, he stared at me and explained, "I read someone's mind—Isaac's, maybe—and it scared me so much that I lost control in my sleep.  You got to see what I saw, for the most part."

"The same night you told me about your dreams, we almost...  You stopped me.  It was because of your scars, right?"

"I can't really explain them as an occupational hazard when I'm a psychology teacher."

I stood, walked around the coffee table, and sat next to Virgil.  I took his hand into my own, feeling his tremor.  "Did you think you were going to make it—that someone was going to come and save you?"

He squeezed my hand.  "There was a point when I stopped caring about what they did to me.  I was tired and hurt and hungry and... I slipped up.  He—Isaac—mentioned that there were cameras in my apartment, which I already knew, but I should never have let him know that.  He held a knife to my neck and threatened me.  I just... told him to kill me."  He chuckled dryly.  "It wasn't going to get him anywhere, and I just wanted it all to end."

My heart ached.  I wrapped my arms around him.

"Are we okay?  Are-Are we going to be okay?"

I brought my hand up to play with his hair.  "I don't know," I admitted.  "It's..." I smiled.  "It's fucking complicated.  I mean, we cheated on each other with each other."

Laughing, he asked, "How did we not notice?"  He pulled away.  When he looked at me with his smirk, I saw genuine joy.  "We're fucking idiots."