Aaron
With time I saw for myself first hand just why Joshua was the most disliked person in the whole company. He was brash, rude and impatient with everyone. He had no qualms cutting anyone down to size who he felt was wrong.
The first time I had seen his behaviour I had been shocked to the core by it. I had been right about him. He was a bully and he had made me feel guilty for confronting him about it.
Our paths barely crossed but I didn't want to believe he was that cruel deep down. Something had to be going on with him. No One could be that uncaring and that wrong.
I couldn't even defend his behaviour or give excuses all I could do was help his victims cope. I was met with distrust and suspicion as I tried to befriend his victims and offer help or advice on how to avoid or cope with his wrath.
I spent an obscene amount on apology gifts and favours to make amends for his behaviour. This was all for someone I didn't talk to or know anything more than his name and rank.
As soon as I walked into the coffee shop a few weeks later, it clicked just how I knew Joshua. He was 'grey wool coat with the black glasses' who always sat in the corner and ordered a 'Venti YuanYang'.
At least I had called him that in my head. I wondered why it had taken me so long to recognise him.
It was the glasses. Had he deliberately stopped wearing them, just to throw me off? Ever since I had joined the company I had never seen him wearing glasses. I had found out he had not been in since I had got my job and instead, he had it delivered now or his PA picked it up for him.
The moment he stepped out of the elevator at work, I followed behind him but he was so engrossed in his phone and coffee he didn't notice me. When Mrs. Baker raised her head I pointed to him and she waved me ahead.
"What the fuck?" So I could surprise him. I had chuckled when he had jumped in surprise when he had seen me in his office. I had deftly avoided the door when he had kicked it closed.
Was that a smile he was trying hard to hide and failing. So he could smile. I could see that he was trying to bring a scowl on his face and failing.
"Why didn't you tell me how we knew each other?" He raised one eyebrow and smiled. Aah, so he could after all smile.
"We don't know each other. At all." His smile was even wider than before. It struck me if he did this every time he spoke, people would like him. He had a great smile. It greatly improved his looks.
I grabbed the chair opposite him and sat on my hands to prevent myself from rearranging his desk which was a mess.
Those half haphazardly placed papers were bothering me. I half expected him to kick me out but he took off his jacket and sat opposite me.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit still. I just knew he wouldn't like it if I touched his desk so I rearranged the shelf of company awards and several certificates in front of him.
I was surprised he didn't stop me. I was half expecting to be grabbed by the collar out of the office.
"Why did you stop wearing glasses?"
"I didn't."
"Well you looked really nice in them. You don't have to avoid me at the coffee shop." I turned back to look at him, He had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from smiling, he didn't reply.
"Aren't you going to be late?" I turned to look at Joshua. His voice was softer than I expected. He handed me some wet wipes and sanitizer which I gratefully accepted.
"See you later." He held my gaze and didn't say a word and I left.
^^^
Slowly Joshua accepted my presence as a given. All I had to do was to call Mrs. Baker and when he was free she would call me up. Not once did he complain or kick me out.
It took me a few days to realise he was deliberately messing the awards so I would rearrange them. He would stack books on his desk in a way he knew it would bother me. Or have pens and highlighters spilled on his desk.
Most of the time he didn't speak. This drove me crazier than the pens. He would lean in his chair and just look at me across his desk. Just watching me.
He just sat there and stared at me. I noticed everything about him. Not once did he flinch or seem bothered that I was looking at him. If I didn't know better I would think, he liked it. He enjoyed it whenever I looked at him.
Staring at someone like that messes up your mind. Not having to hide that you are looking at someone was new for me and having him look back at me had my head spinning.
As we stared at each other I was hit by a surprising realisation.
I found Joshua very attractive. As in, I was really attracted to him. That shit hit me from nowhere and shocked me to bits. How could I find a man attractive?
I was happily in a relationship with Samantha, 3 years now going on to 4.
I just didn't know if he felt the same way. He didn't say a damn word to me!! Instead of keeping away as I should have, I kept going back to him over and over again.
At least now he smiled at me when I entered his office. At least I knew now, he didn't totally hate it when I visited him.
I didn't want to go reading more into what wasn't said. I didn't think he was a shy guy who wouldn't say what was on his mind. I mean, if he liked me like that way he would say, right!!
The unending silence was driving me crazy. After a week, I broke. He had these mind games to a tee. I yelled at him and asked why he wasn't talking to me.
I was so embarrassed that I swore that I would never come back and visit him. Just what the hell was I hoping to achieve by visiting him? He didn't talk to me.
---
"Its 1030. Aren't you coming up?" I didn't have to ask who it was to know it was him calling me. I was surprised he even knew my extension.
"For what? So you can ignore me?"
"I have never ignored you.
"Dude??"
"I'm dude to you now?"
"Joshua, if you expect me to call you Mr. Reade forget it." He chuckled. So he could laugh.
"Joshua's fine. If you can't come up now, come after lunch."
"Should I be suspicious that you are being nice to me Josh?"
"Hmm. I'm used to you ok. If you don't want to come up don't."
"I will only come up on condition you actually talk to me." He chuckled.
"Whatever. Don't be late."
