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If you want me in your life, put me there. I shouldn't have to fight for a spot.
- Unknown
CARNATION WHITE
1 hour...
2 hours...
3 hours passed by and he still isn't home yet. This was a weekly thing for me. Darius always comes home smelling like alcohol and bitches perfume. But I don't really pay any mind to it.
It's really nothing new to me.
You could say that 'I'm in love with him' which I am and every time I try to leave I always find myself coming back to him.
I believed that how ever many times he put me through shit, he would change. But I guess I was wrong.
The clock read 5:30 am. Waiting for him to come home. This was a regular time that he would come home usually. I was sick of it.
Whenever he comes home he gives me a bullshit ass of an excuse as to why he's always coming home this late at night.
But I always find myself believing every lie he told. If I had a dollar for every lie he has told me for the past four years we've been together, I would have been rich by now.
4 years gone to waste. Down the drain. I did everything for that nigga. When he was going through it with his mother guess who helped him back up. Me. And he doesn't do the same for me.
I got up from the couch and made my way upstairs. I walked into the closet and took out a suitcase and packed all my shit. Can't believe this was happening. I find myself finally gaining the courage to walk out of this relationship. I couldn't stick around anymore.
Darius walked into the room while I continued packing my stuff in the suitcase. Of course yet again the smell of alcohol and feminine perfume hit my nose.
"Baby.. what you doing?" He said sternly. He walked over to me and stood infront of the closet trying to stop me from packing. I ignored him and reached by the side of his leg getting the rest of my stuff.
"You what the fuck is you doing Nation?" I looked up at him as tears swelled in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away.
"I'm leaving." I told him. I zipped up the suitcase and stood up ready to walk out the door. He grabbed me by my neck and pushed me against the wall.
This was his first time putting his hands on me. I kicked him in his leg and kept hitting him. "Darius, s-Stop. I c-cant b-breathe" I said trying to pry his hands from around my neck.
He let go and took the suitcase out of my hands and threw it across the room. I slid down the wall holding my chest.
"Your not fuxking leaving me. You hear me bitch?" I was scared but I was gonna put up a fight.
"Watch me then." I stood up and walked across the room for my suitcase before being pulled back by my hair and dragged to the bed.
I yelled for help. He threw me on the bed and got on top of me and punched me repeatedly, almost knocking me unconscious.
He put his hands around my neck again and shook me. "Are you gonna leave me?" At this moment his eyes were dark. I was scared. I shook my head no, still trying to get out of his grip.
"Good. Now let's go to sleep." He said laying beside me putting and arms around my waist. My face felt numb and everything hurts.
"Where you going?" He asked me now sitting up in the bed.
"The bathroom." I swallowed the huge lump that was forming in my throat.
I limped into the bathroom and rested my hands on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror.
My face was swollen, my neck has red marks on it, there was bruises around my eye. I cried to myself as I looked in the mirror.
I wiped my tears and limped out of the bathroom and back into my the bed, my back facing him. I tried my hardest to fall asleep but all I could think about is him putting hands on me.
