Playing with Fire

Chapter 59

"This is not right, Barty. This is not right at all. You lost control again. You almost killed random students. You're addicted to murder, and it's not right," Hermione said, while she sat down with her arm crossed on a small chair that was standing in the broom closet.

"Only when people irritate me," he said through gritted teeth.

"So when I irritate you, you just kill me without giving it a second thought?" Hermione asked skeptical, raising one eyebrow.

"No, obviously, not you. But... When people offend me, or you, or our master, something inside me snaps... I cannot control it. You know that."

"So? That still doesn't make it right. I. Don't. Feel. Safe."

"I'm not hurting you. I'm hurting disrespectful little pests."

"People."

"Disrespectful little people then. I haven't killed anyone for already a long time. More than two months. I felt the need... I had to..."

"So you're addicted."

"I can refrain from doing it," he argued, "I just choose not to."

He picked up a shovel and he started to play around with it nervously.

"Put that down. You're still angry," Hermione said carefully.

He sighed and he grudgingly put the shovel away. Then suddenly he lost it completely. He started to slam the door and the walls, he picked up pots and vases and buckets to smash them against the walls of the tiny space so that Hermione had to cover her face against the flying shards, he started yelling, and he broke the shelves on the wall with brutal force. He went on ravaging the place until Hermione grabbed his face with both hands and forced him to look at her. She didn't say anything, she just pressed her lips against his in the hope he would be distracted enough.

It did work for as far as Hermione could tell, as he wrapped his arms around her gently. His anger had suddenly made place for love, and nothing else seemed to matter anymore. She really had this power over him, and he knew it.

"I don't want this responsibility, Barty," Hermione breathed against his lips. "I don't want to be the one who has to calm you down every time you go too far."

"You're the only one who can," he replied, and he tried to kiss her again, but she dodged him.

"That has to stop. You need to be able to control yourself. I don't care if you hurt or kill your enemies, but you just lost control again and killed an entire family," Hermione said. "If you want to become a good and patient father, you'll have to change."

"I will. I will change. When our little one has arrived everything will be better," he said solemnly.

He sounded quite serious and sincere. He probably was, but words needed to be put into action, or else she could still not trust him.

"I need to be able to trust you. I never want to feel unsafe again. You scared me out of my wits today," Hermione confessed. "I never want to feel threatened by you again. When I ask you to stop something, then you have to stop, otherwise you'll go too far again and form a danger for everyone. Including me."

"I'd never-" Barty immediately protested, but Hermione sushed him.

"You don't want to, but you have made it clear that you can't control it always. If you truly want to change and be absolutely certain that you will never hurt me, then you need to listen to me, okay?"

"Yes, love," his only response was, and for a moment he looked like a little child again who was apologizing to his mom for stealing a cookie.

"We'll eat out. Not here. We'll eat in Hogsmead or something," she proposed. "Away from Hogwarts."