My Lantern

CHAPTER VI

I'm lying on my bed and it's 11:36. I can't sleep. I kept thinking what Arjun said to me.

Maybe he's hiding something that he doesn't want you to find out.

Because he doesn't want to hurt you.

I wanted to believe him, he seemed an honest person and he knows everything. I shook my thoughy away, this is foolish!

Why would I believe someone whom I just met, I barely knew Arjun even though he's popular in school. But he's comfortable to be with, and he seemed a nice person. And why am I thinking about him!

I got up frantically and throw my pillow across the room, it didn't hit the wall.

"My point is, he's wrong. Arjun is wrong. If Jai doesn't want to hurt me then he wouldn't have to hide something from me. Yes! I'm gonna tell him that he's wrong! But what if he's right? And why am I talking to myself!"

I groaned and throw myself on the bed again. I clutched the other pillow and stared across the open window that overlooks the little portion of the Milky Way galaxy.

I am overwhelmed with sadness again.

"Jai... please, talk to me."

I sobbed. Thinking about the time when everything is fine, when he's with me. When he made me laugh and teased me and joked all day as if it never gotten old.

I missed him. I really missed him. I miss the sound of his laughter, the wrinkle on his eyes when he smile, I miss how my best friend is. Next to my papa he is everything to me. Why do I feel like I'm loosing him.

"What's wrong, Jai? What's wrong?"

I closed my eyes and dream of those moments when I still feel the warmth of Jai...

***

I woke up not with the sound of the alarm clock, I wonder if the alarm ever rang because as I checked my ringing phone, it's already sixteen minutes past eight and Mikey is calling.

"Yes?" I said with a groggy voice.

"It's not hard to guess that you're still wearing pyjamas, in your bed, half-awake." He said, sounding like a celebrity manager."

"Good guess, Mikey. I can't make it to the first class today."

"Are you nuts? Does it slipped your bloody mind that there are no classes today?"

That's a relief.

"Then what are you so edgy about?"

He sniggered. "Well, maybe because it's the Firewhiskey's game aginst the Bridger's Blackbull and as far as I remember, Mr. Dawser assigned you as the official photographer,"

Oh crab! I smacked my head. Not because I forgot about it but because I don't have any plan to go out.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

And I hanged up, but instead of hurrying, I walked like a zombie towards the bathroom, I showered, letting the water cascade down my skin, letting all the negativities wash away, if that's even possible. After my morning rituals, I went down to the kitchen and I saw papa entered from the back door, a dirty gardening gloves in his hands, he smiled and greeted me a good morning but as he looked into my eyes, his gay expression turned weary as well, as if my feelings are reflected to him.

"Kya tum theek ho?" (Are you alright?), he asked in his genuine Hindi accent.

"Haan, paapa," (yes, papa)