Blood Moon

part 9

"so. Are you two a thing yet?" My brother asked over pasta. It was a quick Bolognese, neither of us are any good at cooking, and my brother usually eats out. I can't remember the last time we sat down and ate together. Usually he just buys me nice food, like the high end ready meals that don't taste like something died inside it.
It was nice, just me and Conner chatting, laughing like we haven't in so long. Until he asked that.
"What! She's my friend. Why would you think that!"
My brother smiled at me.
"Look. I know you, I know you better than anyone. I've known for years that you like girls, God I've probably known longer than you have. And that Emily, you like her. And she really, really likes you."
I just stared at my brother. He was telling me that he knew I was gay.
He was telling me that he knew, and he didn't care. All this time, and, he just...
He has known for all these years.
I started to cry a little bit.
"Amy, I'm sorry," he said, getting up and hugging me. It was so nice to hug my brother that I didn't even care he had tomato sauce down his top.
"I, I. I didn't know how to tell you," I said quietly.
"Amy I want you to be happy. Every day was hell for me, leaving you knowing you were struggling with friends ever since mother and father left. I hated going to work, but I had to. What mother and father send me is barely enough to cover the bills, let alone food, clothes and all that. I go out in the evening to drink it away because otherwise, I feel as though I'm going to scream or break. I want you to be happy. And now, you are" he smiled.
"Thank you" I sobbed into him. I loved my brother, he understood me, I had heard the horror stories of people coming out and being rejected by their families. I had been so scared I had pushed my feelings so far down I could barely feel them. I was scared of being hurt again. But Conner knew. He knew!
"So, when are you going to ask Emily out?" He said, getting back to his now cold pasta.
"We're not a thing" I mumbled.
"Hence why you girls were sitting, topless watching Titanic."
"We're just friends."
"Not for long. I see the way she looks at you, it's like a blind person looking at the moon for the first time"
"Ooo, look at you. My brother the poet." I said, trying to change the subject.
"No, I'm serious. She loves you. Be careful. Don't break her heart, she's a nice girl, you two would be so cute together"
I scoffed.
He's right though. Imagine it, her lips against mine.
Her breath in my ear...
Stop it!
"She's just a friend"
She's just a friend.
My best friend.