Blood Moon

part 11

Emily's point of view

Love me. That's all I want. I want you to love me.
I know you to love me I know you do.
You do love me.
You do.

"What's wrong Emily?" Amy asked. It was lunch, and we were sitting together on a bench. I feel as though that's where we always are, on a bench. The only lesson we had together is Physics and lifeskills and the physics teacher moved us away from each other. And we have a new lifeskills teacher and she is determined to try and teach us, with exams and everything.
I feel as though we're not progressing. It's too slow. All I want to do is kiss those lips and hear those three soft words in my ear.
"Nothing, I'm just thinking"
I looked at Amy, she seemed so much happier now compared to when I first saw her. She smiled and talked and laughed.
And yet she still called us friends.
Each time she did that it was a stake through my heart.
"About what?"
"About how different you are now" I didn't want to lie to her. I think I've only done it once, I never want to do it again. I want her to trust me because that's how a healthy relationship is built. On trust and love.
Yet she didn't seem to love me.
"I feel different. Not to sound cheesy or whatever but I feel more me. I feel happier, and I think that's down to you Emily" she smiled.
And I smiled back. It was down to me. I had brought this beautiful, smiling girl into the light. I had slowly hacked away the insecurities and left her happy. I made her happy.
"Well, I'm glad we've got each other, we don't have to be alone anymore"
All those years. Watching the world go by knowing none of them would ever love me. Me.
Never meeting anymore who made me feel like myself again. Until I saw her, through the fence of the school gate, give the middle finger to a girl.
I knew then that I had found, at last, someone I could connect to. Someone who would make me smile and laugh until the moon turns to ash and the world burns.
Until the end of days, she will be mine.
"Emily. I need to ask you something"
"What is it, Amy?"
"What are you hiding from me. I've tried to forget but I can't. Your hiding something, something big. That girl, the one you jumped, she's not been back to school. And you leave questions unanswered, on purpose. I love our friendship, and I don't want it to disappear because you've done something and I'm poking too much into it. But I need to know" she was starting to shake and cry. Obviously, she had been wanting to say this for a while. And just when I think I've gotten away from it, that we've moved past this point of questions and answers. She knew almost everything about me. I knew everything about her. Yet what else did she want to know?
What the hell should I say? I can't tell her now its too soon. I need to make it so she can't run from me.
But she was asking questions now.
"With that girl, all I did was stare at her, well glare meanly" true. That's all I did.
"And what questions haven't I answered? What I am keeping from you that is making you feel this way" I had raised my voice. All my frustration leaked about, why can't she just leave it be. Why couldn't she just trust me?
The look on her face changed to fear. I had frightened her.
"I, I, I need to go" she whispered then got up.
I grabbed her arm.
"Amy, I'm sorry, I've just had a long day-"
"Take your hand off me," she said, trying to sound threatening.
I did so anyway.
And off she went.
I didn't follow. She needed some time. If she came back, then the plan would continue as normal.
If not...