~ Cold In California ~

"obsession"

~~~

Drinking my regular coffee at my office leaning my back to the glass wall.

Anxious.

Waiting for him to come.

"Mr Kim, Mr kang is here "
The assistant finally announced his arrival.
"Let him in "

15min forward

"I get it taehyung"

He said tapping his fingers on the desk, "kang chen" was my therapist when I first got in this shit, back then faces haunted me everywhere, as an 18 year old teenager I freaked out and the head of the organization had me seeing him, but after a 3 months of his nonsense, I stiffened.
I gave zero fucks from then and on.
And I stopped seeing him cuz I stopped feeling anything while taking multiple people souls sometimes at once.
I trust him cuz he knows that if he let anything out, he'll be buried in 7th layer underground without anyone even realizing it.
It was for his surprise I asked to see him after 3 years, but right now, I need him.

To keep her.

Cuz I need her .
Everything right now leads to her, connected to her.

" So, you dearly love her, and you wanna protect her at all cost "
I nodded at his words looking out the window .
"But at the same time you're obsessed with her, you're obsessed over her and for her, and sometimes the affection you have makes you wanna hurt her, ruin her , be aggressive."
I clenched my fists to his sentence, but unfortunately it's true.
I know I'm obsessed with her but the last thing I want is to hurt her.
And I need to find a solution before I ruin everything.
I don't wanna lose her for this.
I need to protect her from the beast inside me.
" For now it's kind of hard to control this, but when you get that feeling , Orient your thoughts to how she'll feel, how she'll hate you and despise you if you abuse her "

My stomach twisted at the thought.

What if she hates me.
I can't let her hate me.
I'm trying to make her love me .
I can't ruin it with my desires.

Even tho I'm never gonna allow her to leave, I still want her to feel safe with me. And to give me herself full heartedly
Not forced.

She's the only one who didn't see the psycho in me.
I don't know where he goes when she's there.

And I'm never letting him out.
Not for her.

I don't wanna lose her.
Ever.

~~~~~
6 month later

September 15th

8:30 am

It's been 10 months with him.
6 months being his woman.

Feeling his warm embrace everyday.

His soft pecks all over my face waking me up every morning.

His tight hugs when he comes home tired, as if he was refilling His energy by hugging me.

His full of passion kisses.

I keep wondering about how gentle he treats me, so gentle like a touch could break me.

Everything changed in this last months.

I'm more free now.

I have a phone. I talk to jisoo all time and I miss her so much.
She was so worried about me that she flew back then to Seoul to search after me.