Joker x Reader Oneshots

Cart Rides & Samples (Jerome x Reader)

 "_____."

"..._____, you're out of food."

You let out a groan and placed your pillow over your head as Jerome shook you. "'Cause you ate it all."

"I didn't eat it all!"

"Yes. You did."

"Well then, let's go to the store and get some more." Jerome cooed.

You let out a heavy sigh, "why can't you just let me sleep?"

"Well doll, for starters I'm bored. Plus you have no food. Not adding the fact that it's two in the afternoon--"

"Jesus--fine, Jerome. Just go get one of my hats."

"Why?"

"Well, yesterday I told Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock that I have no idea who you are. The last thing I need in the GCPD kicking down my door."

"Good point. Come on, up now!" Jerome pulled on your arm and you groaned loudly, sitting up.

"I'm up,I'm up."

It didn't take long to get ready, but it did take Jerome 20 minutes to pick a hat to wear. He settled for a baseball cap and with that, you both were on your way to the grocery store.

Once you walked into the store, the ginger quickly ran to a cart and climbed inside of it.

"J, you're joking."

"Very serious, babe." Jerome grinned at you.

You narrowed your eyes before sighing. There was no point in arguing with him. You began pushing the cart through the store, ignoring the prolonged glances because of the grown man in your cart. You went straight into the snack aisle and Jerome quickly hopped out of the cart. You only wanted to get a few bags of chips but when you looked at the cart again, there were two giant bags of skittles inside.

"No." You looked at him and he pouted."

"One."

"C'mon, doll!"

"One." You repeated, putting your chips in the cart.

"What if I paid for all the groceries?"

"With what money?" You snorted.

Jerome grinned and pulled out a wad of cash. Your eyes widened.

"Where did--nevermind. I don't wanna know. Fine. ButI'm getting actual food too."

"Whatever you need. Which American president was least guilty?"

"What?"

"Lincoln. He was in-a-cent."

"I should abandon you in this fucking store."

Jerome began to laugh and it made you laugh as well. Now both of you began filling the cart with junk food and sodas. You were going to take full advantage of Jerome buying your groceries. Once you focused on getting actual food, Jerome slipped away for a bit until you began looking for him.

"Spicy chicken, huh? I didn't really taste any spice, let me just try another. By the look on the employee's face, this was not just his second sample.

"Jer--J. How many samples did you take?" You quickly stopped him from eating the one in his hand. The guilty look in his green eyes was more than enough to answer your question.

"Why do chickens lay eggs?"

"J--"

"Because if they dropped them, they'd break."

You bit back the smile that started to grow on your face. "Sorry about that, ma'am," you took the sample from Jerome but ate it instead of putting it back. Technically it was fine; you didn't have one yet. "I don't taste the spice either." You looked at the employee as Jerome began to laugh, climbing into the cart again.

It was clear that both you and Jerome were beginning to overstay your welcome, so with a running start and a very hard push, you stood on the cart as it zoomed down the aisle towards the checkout lanes. Jerome's hate nearly flew off and you almost hit a man waiting in line. You and Jerome were nearly on the ground laughing.

After paying for all the groceries and getting them to your apartment, Jerome threw off the hat you gave him and flopped down on your couch, making you narrow your eyes.

"You're helping me put this shit away, Jerome."

"Right now?"

"Yeah." You put the ice cream you got in the freezer so it wouldn't melt then went over to the ginger, nudging him, "get up!"

Jerome pulled you down next to him and held you close, making you blush.

"Come on, toots. We can do it later. Our little adventure took a lot outta me."

"Oh sure." You rested your head against him. "You're lucky I like you."

"No. You're lucky I like you." Jerome cackled. "Next let's go to the bank."

"I'm not robbing a bank."

"You'll like the adrenaline rush~"

"Jerome, I will kick you out."

"Love you too, _____."