red and blue secrets

chapter 2

((WARNING: this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and actions that can cause harm to your body if youre not comfortable with this then this story is probably not for you and for all you who are okay with it just keep in mind reader discretionary is advised with my works. enjoy!))

- Past -

[Lance]

Age 5: Mama went into the doctors today. I get to have a baby brother! I'm so excited but I'm nervous, I don't want mama to forget about me. I really hope she doesn't.

Age 9: people are talking to me more and now I've got a baby sister. I met the nicest people named pidge and hunk and Pidge is teaching us how to play video games. Hunk's mum is so sweet and she has amazing cooking and pidge's brother and their friend Shiro always stands up for me whenever I'm being teased for my tan skin.

Age 12: mama is in the hospital getting checked up and so I need to look after everyone. It's really hard and the bullies at school have gotten worse. I don't know who to trust but I still have pidge, hunk and the others.

Age 18- current: I'm really popular at school now but I still feel so lonely. Hunk and the others are the only ones who know me and I hide that I'm bisexual by only surrounding myself with pretty girls. I just want to be myself with someone.

"KEITH?!" Lance yelled his eyes wide and he looked at the lonely male who had flinched when his name had been yelled. He looked at lance and suddenly there was an emotion in his eyes people didn't usually get to see. There was fear. He didn't want to have to talk to lance... the most popular guy in school. He swallowed hard and he crossed his hands and put his guard up real high. Lance took a deep breath and he settled into a smile. He took a seat at Keith's table since Keith didn't look like he was going to move. Keith immediately stiffened. No one ever sat next to him... he didn't know how to act and his anxiety went through the roof.

"Hi, I'm lance, your name is Keith right?" Lance said with a smile as he placed the book down where they were.
"We are probably gonna be spending a lot of time with each other from now on so come over after school, we can get to know each other a bit," Lance said smiling at him and Keith clenched his hands against his pants under the table.

"Can't today..." He mumbled. He had to be home at an appropriate time because his dad didn't work today. He looked down and away from lance but lance just sighed.

"I guess that can't be helped... another time then!" Lance said reassuringly and he pats Keith's shoulder once before he grabbed out his workbook and started to write down notes to do with Coran's lecture. Keith didn't understand how lance could be so talkative and open and... happy.

Keith's mind began to wonder. Back to when the days were happy... trying to figure out what he did wrong and he didn't notice that Coran was standing in front of him trying to call his attention to answer whatever question he had been asked. After lance tapped Keith, Keith focused and he looked up at Coran and then around him at all of the staring faces. A group of girls in the back snickered and made jokes and it pushed Keith over the edge so he just grabbed his stuff and ran from the classroom.

"DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!! FREAK!" One girl called and they all laughed while lance just stared blankly after Keith. Lance wanted to go after him but he restrained himself and he simply sat back down and continued writing the notes.

-Meanwhile-

Keith ran and ran from the classroom but it was as if the voices and the laughter followed him around. It was too much.

'You're a wimp and a mistake and it's YOUR own fault your parents aren't together'

The voices started and Keith hurried and locked himself in the bathrooms to hide away from the mob of people and the looking eyes. His breathing started to pick up and the walls were closing in on him. He slowly slid down the door and buried his head in his knees. His hands tangled up in his mess of a mullet.

'You're disgusting. Everyone in school and at home knows it so what's even the point, you are NOTHING. Stop fighting it and just give in. you don't deserve to live. NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE YOU!'

They were starting to get louder and Keith felt boiling tears fall from his cheeks. His chest got tighter and his breathing was closer to wheezing. He harshly grabbed the front of his shirt where his heart was beating trying to break his fragile ribs. He only sat like that for a moment before he bolted for the toilet and harshly shoved a finger down his throat feeling his body reject everything had eaten recently and stomach bile. He did it again this time only getting bile but even so he did another time after that before he turned and held his head as he just cried. What was he doing here... he should just listen to the voices... what was the point...

The bell rang and Keith dragged himself from the ground. He wiped his face and splashed it with cold water. He looked at himself in the mirror.
"Pathetic..." he mumbled and he fixed his sleeves before walking from the bathroom. He couldn't handle the laughter around him and so he put his headphones on and shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

Lance noticed Keith was walking towards the roof eating area and he told Pidge and Hunk that he would catch up. He was a bit concerned after Keith left so suddenly. J

He silently 'followed' Keith up to the roof area and once Keith turned around to sit his eyes widened before he glared.
"What?" He grumbled sitting down in irritation. Lance suddenly looked nervous but he didn't even know why. He never got nervous like this but he pushed it deep down and he sat as well.

"You ran off. I wanted to make sure you were alright," He said simply but just those couple sentences make Keith's heart jump. His anxiety skyrocketed and he tried not to pay the voices any attention... not while lance was here... but what if- what if lance figured it out... what if lance was going to press...

Keith found himself staring blankly at a spot on the ground trying to keep himself from slipping into a panic attack.

"-eith! Keith! Buddy you okay there?" Lance asked and had a steady hand on Keith's shoulder. Keith immediately pushed him off.

"WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT LANCE!! TO MAKE FUN OF ME! JUST GO. AWAY!" Keith snapped. He was losing it and his hands were shaking, he COULD NOT lose it here. He didn't know how to get lance to leave so he just stood and slapped him.
"DON'T TREAT ME LIKE I CHILD I CAN LOOK AFTER MYSELF SO GO AWAY!!" he screamed and he crossed his arms and turned his back to lance so lance couldn't see as both his hands were then shaking and his eyes filled with tears. Lance was shocked and he slowly stood and left. Once Keith heard the door to the outside area close signifying lance had left he collapsed to his knees and he started to gasp again.

'JUST DIE ALREADY! WHATS THE POINT! HE'S GOING TO TELL EVERYONE AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE HATED EVEN MORE!'

The voices were right and Keith just didn't want this anymore but if he was going to do anything it would be where people couldn't be burdened....... Alright, it's decided....... Lance wouldn't have a chance to make Keith's life more of a hell than it was.

((word count: 1289. thanks for reading because im actually really proud of this story, please share with your friends or click the little star so other people can see it as well! the next chapter will be in keith's POV after he gets home from school so stay in the loop and it will be posted soon! luv you all and like ive said if you feel suicidal or depressed like this seek help or DM me, youre not alone and it'll be okay <3))