red and blue secrets

chapter 3

- Past -

[Pidge]

Age 5: Matt taught me my first few lines of code today. I really love my brother, he's the only one who really GETS me sometimes

Age 9: I've started programming games now, matt is so proud of me and I couldn't be happier about his pride. My goal is time to make him prouder in me every day

Age 12: I'm struggling with identity currently. I don't know who I am but I'm getting so much better with coding and hacking. I hacked into a really big server a few weeks ago.

Age 18 – current age: I can tell you anything you wanna know about anyone. I'm the smartest in my class and everyone just calls me pidge.

((TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains self-harm, suicidal thoughts, abuse, alcohol abuse, and rape))

~Keith POV~

I ran and I ran. Away from the school and the bullies and Lance McClain. I knew it wasn't any better at home but through the majority of the day, my "father" was sleeping away his hangover so he could drink again when I'm home. If I did my calculations correctly then I should have a couple of hours before I needed to stress about him. I slowed when I got to my house and silently entered through my window because the door was creaky.

I felt my chest tighten and my eyes got moist. I covered my mouth so I wouldn't be sick and so my breathing didn't wake my "father". I hated being in this house. My anxiety and depression was all over the place as I grabbed my blades and pills and headed towards the bathroom. I closed and locked the door. Sliding down the wall until I was sitting on the cold tiled floor I finally let the thoughts and day catch up to me.

I pulled my shirt off and glared at my stomach. I hated how I couldn't see my ribs, which meant there was too much fat on me. I locked the door and I grabbed my razor tight in my hand.

'You're disgusting. Pathetic. You can't even starve yourself properly'

I felt my tears come faster as I slid the blade harshly across the left side of my stomach. "One..." I mumbled.

'You're supposed to not annoy anyone yet the most popular guy in school is forced to hang with a loser like you! Disgusting! You deserve to die!'

My breathing hitched as I struggled to keep myself from hyperventilating as that would definitely wake up my "father". Another cut on my wrist this time. "... two..." I breathed.

'Your parents don't even want you. You're a mistake and nobody will ever care about you. You don't deserve love'

I couldn't stop it. The lump in my throat made it impossible to breathe and I let out a sob as I cut three times more on my wrist and I stared at the pills.

"...three...four...five..." I choked out and reached for them but my "father" kicked down the door and he grabbed me by the throat.

"What're you doing home you pathetic little shit!!? I pay for your education!! You weak shit!! cutting?! Pathetic! You're no son of mine!! From today onwards you're going to start working!! Get dressed I'm going to get Benny to set you up with a job!" He growled as I trembled. I couldn't breathe and my vision was swimming. He threw me across the room, my face hitting the bathtub and splitting my lip.
"AND CLEAN UP!" he demanded of me. I stumbled as he walked away but managed to stand. I lifelessly cleaned the blood from the floor and my face before throwing my shirt back on and silently going to stand before my "father". He examined me before landing a hard slap across my face. I didn't flinch, I'd known it was coming.

"You are such a disappointment no wonder your mother left! You're pathetic and the second I can I'm throwing you out of the house! You do nothing but mope around! You're a useless piece of shit and nobody will love you! Go ride to Benny's. He's going to start you working today. You're not to come back until you have money for me you pathetic piece of crap!" he shouted at me but I just nodded and collected my tattered bike from the garage and rode to his mate benny's house.

Benny was a sleazy club owner. He didn't care about his employees and I knew this but I couldn't disobey my "father" otherwise his consequences would be worse than anything at Benny's club. Benny especially didn't like me so when I arrived I got slapped. He growled at the fact my "father" told me to work for him but he threw me into a room to change into the exposing clothes that were the club's uniform.

I undressed and started by pulling on the skin-tight black boxer briefs before I clipped on my leather collar and chain. I grabbed a serving tray before I walked out and started serving. Everyone here could go to hell...

*time skip about an hour*

A few of the customers were getting a bit rowdy and so I was told to bring them upstairs.

"These are our special rooms gentlemen is there anything that I can do for you?" I asked being polite as that was my job as a waiter. I didn't expect their reaction. My chain was grabbed and they yanked me into the room. I felt a panic surge through me and I tried to run away. They locked the door and two of them pinned me while the third went in between my legs and took off my briefs.

"S-s-stop it! Let me go! This isn't funny!!" I yelled out as I squirmed but the men just kept me pinned and started taking their own pants and boxers off. My breathing got fast until it reached hyperventilating. They seemed entertained by this and the two pinning me started stroking themselves. It was disgusting and I suddenly felt hot moisture on my cheeks. I was so distracted it took a while for me to realize that was CRYING. They really got off to that. One that was pinning me shoved his dick in my mouth and started to thrust in there. I couldn't stop myself from repetitively gagging but I couldn't find anything to throw up. The one that wasn't pinning me shoved into me and I SCREAMED.

It hurt. It hurt so much. I started trembling and sobbing uncontrollably while the third just got off in the corner while watching. My body was going numb. I just wanted to be dead. They did this for a full hour until they all came. One in my ass, one in my mouth and the other on my face. I was made to swallow the cum in my mouth. I felt disgusting and I just wanted to curl up and cry but I was working all night and had school tomorrow. They finally let me go and I stumbled lifelessly from the room to finish my job. I got raped three more times before my shift was over and when my shift WAS over I had enough time to shower, clean myself up and dress before I was riding to school.

I so badly wanted to die...

((word count: 1200. thanks for anyone who has read, this story really doesn't get much love but I'm proud of it))