Prince Caspian -Jung Yoonoh NCT

49. Fidelity

SIX MONTHS LATER

Jae and I are announcing our engagement tonight.

So much has happened in the last six months.

At work, everyone knows that I'm the boss's fiancéé. I am treated with  respect now. They're all wary of me. My fellow interns keep a certain distance from me. It's sad, but that's what happens when you've been lying to them about who you are. Lisa looks at me accusingly sometimes, but she's polite, though cold towards me. I miss the days when she was my friend, and I could say anything to her. Now, I'm just awkward around her. Damien looks sheepish most of the time, and avoids me. He's taken to calling me Miss Jung. And Nicola - well, she scowls at me all the time, and pointedly flirts with Jae in front of me, so, yeah, she's the only one that treats me normally.

The party starts at 8.00 pm, and it's in Jae's penthouse. I've been spending a lot of time there, and sometimes, I sleep over. At other times, he stays over at my place. I am so blissfully happy, and I pinch myself at times, because there's a little voice in me that says, Whoa, hang on; you can't be this happy, something's got to give. But I refuse to listen. I float in my bubble of joy every day, just being with him, and breathing in his presence. I even dare to assume, sometimes, when I wake up, with his hand in my hair, his face relaxed in sleep tucked under my chin, that he loves me. I mean, he's never actually said that he loves me, but surely, surely he wouldn't kiss me the way he does, look at me that way he does, hold me to him like I'm the most precious thing in the world - surely he wouldn't do all these things, lavish gifts and flowers and all this tenderness on me, if he doesn't love me? And, to be fair to him, I have never told him that I love him...I dare not, because I have a suspicion he would look at me in a sad, compassionate kind of way, and say, gently but firmly, I don't love you, Yiseul, I am incapable of love, but I am so very fond of you, we will be happy together, I promise you that...

It is almost two hours to the party. I am in a fever of impatience. I know Jae is in. He texted me a while ago, saying he just got back.

I miss him. I need him.

I will surprise him. I giggle to myself. He would never expect me to come. I had texted him that I was going to take a nap, and he had texted back, I'll come over at 7.30 pm. I'll see you then, darling.

I take the private elevator all the way up to the penthouse, it's marked, PENTHOUSE: FOR PRIVATE USE, and located in a hidden corner, lined with potted plants. I zap the gold-embossed keycard - the one that Jae has given me with a wicked kiss, murmuring, Come anytime, nereid, and get off on the penthouse floor.

There are balloons hanging outside the door. I smile to myself. He did it all, he hired people to get everything ready for me. Don't lift a finger, he had said, sliding his fingers slowly through my hair, I don't want you to exert yourself, you need to save all your strength for me, and then he had crushed me to him, and I had stopped thinking. I can never think when he's with me.

I press the combination. 2242. The door opens quietly.

The TV is on, it's showing Sleepless in Seattle. I love this movie. Jae and I used to watch it on DVD when I first stayed over, lounging on the sofa next to him, his palm over mine. They were destined to be together, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, and nothing could keep them apart. Tom Hanks is saying, "When I met my wife, it was so clear. I just knew. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a cab. And it was like - magic..." The movie had made me cry, and Jae had kissed me, and pulled me onto his lap, and murmured, "Darling, don't cry...it's just a movie..." but I had only cried harder, because that kind of love comes only once in a lifetime, and Sam, Tom's character, was so lucky; it came twice for him...but how strange it was that it almost seemed as if Meg Ryan was his wife, all over again, that blaze of recognition when their eyes collided, the gut feeling that sent him reeling, the certainty that swelled in his heart, I know this woman, it is her, this is the woman for me...