Prince Caspian -Jung Yoonoh NCT

55. Promise Me

I sit on the wooden bench, staring into the darkness. The moon has cast geometric patterns across the garden. The cool, almost chilly air sends a draught up my ankles.

I sit there for a long time.

Finally, I stir, and walk back to the wooden house, pausing to slide the glass doors quietly, and then slipping noiselessly into the dimly-lit house. The Wongs have retired for the night. I look at the ornamental clock ticking on the wall. It is almost eleven. Another hour, and it will be tomorrow. When morning comes, he will be gone.

I walk up the flight of stairs. I reach the landing. I turn right, and walk along the narrow corridor. His room is next to mine. Perhaps, they are trying to bring us together, moved by the tale of star-crossed lovers, reuniting at last, brought together by Destiny for one last time. Perhaps, it was he who asked for his room to be placed next to mine.

I pause outside his door. There is a sliver of light beneath the door. I touch the door knob. The door swings open at my touch.

He is standing very still at the open window.

He turns at the sound of the door closing.

Wordlessly, we stare at each other.

JAE

How many times have I imagined her thus, standing in the silence of my room, looking at me? How many times have I dreamt of such a moment, raw with need, aching, longing for her? How many times have I caught my breath, stopping sharply in the street when a dark-haired woman of similar figure and gait passed by? For the memories always come back: her face in the moonlight, her laughter, the tears ready to spill on her tiny, enchanting face, the bitten nails, the tremor on her lips.

I had drunk a lot in the early days after she left, alcohol dulling the pain. After a while, I had thrown myself into physical activity, walking miles and miles, trudging through barren countryside, running, plunging myself headlong into physical pain. Against the pain of her, however, there was little I could do. I would jerk awake at night, unable to breathe for the weight on my heart.

But here she is; this slight wisp of a girl in a loose, shapeless brown dress, the girl who has stolen my heart with her fragility and her bravery and her vitality. I look into her eyes, those strange, bewitching eyes, and a fresh stab of love, fierce to begin with, turns dizzying in a second. For a moment the longing inside threatens to engulf me.

I had lied to myself that I would be able to settle into an easy wedded life with another woman, untroubled by such things as her reappearance in my life.

When the truth is that I haven't breathed since the moment I set eyes on her again after two years.

Yiseul

I am directly behind him. He stands motionless. He hasn't moved at all. The curtains flutter on a gust of wind, sighing like filmy ghosts, flailing bonelessly against the rigidity of his back.

"Yiseul." His voice is barely a whisper.

I move closer to him.

"Why are you here?" The curtain whips in the draught, and his face, the tension in it, is illuminated in the shaft of moonshine.

"To tell you my decision." My voice is very low, trembling a little.

He takes a step forward.

"And what is your decision?" His voice is hoarse.

"To be with you." I look up into his eyes. "I want to be with you."

"For tonight?" He swallows.

"Yes." I touch his cheek. "For tonight, and for the rest of our lives."

He sucks in a breath, his face very pale, very set.

"Do you mean that, Jung Yuseul? Are you willing to stay with me forever, for always?" He touches my face gently, his eyes filled with wonder. "You have one minute to walk out that door. And when the one minute is up, I will never let you out walk out of my life again. I will bind you to me forever. So, think carefully, Jung Yiseul. Is this what you want, what you really, really want? To be with me, forever and ever?"

"I have thought," I say softly, "and I have decided, and this is what I want, to be with you, my darling Jae, forever, till the end of time."

I trace the tip of my index finger along the edge of his jaw, and he catches it, kissing it; his eyes are filled with tears. "Yiseul," he says brokenly. "Yiseul. Oh, Yiseul."

I give a low moan and sway forward. He catches me to him, his arms going about me like iron bands, trying to fold me into himself. My face is buried against his chest. 

He swoops me up, and carries me to the bed. The curtain of beads part and sway, like a sprinkling of raindrops. I have dreamt of this moment countless times in the intervening years, not in my waking hours, but in the dark of night, alone in my bed. I have dreamt of him, my lover, walking back into my life again.

Through hundreds of doors and in thousands of guises he would return, crossing mountains and oceans. And now here he is, sombre and so beautiful, gazing at me with love in his eyes.

Jae. My love. I cannot lose him. I will not lose him. I need him as I need the air I breathe. 

I am his. We belong together.

He lifts himself onto his elbows and smiles down at me. There are tears in his eyes.

He lowers his head to touch his lips softly to mine. He kisses me with a tenderness that makes me dissolve into quiet tears. Hush, he says with infinite gentleness. Hush, my darling, and he kisses away my tears, as I sob against his mouth. He caresses me as if the night is infinite and every square inch of my skin deserves its own hour of worship. He knows every inch of my body, as I know his. We touch and kiss and join in love and sadness and remorse for years lost, love missed.

"Yiseul." He trails kisses along my jaw to my ear. "I have missed you. It has been an agony being without you. Tell me you have missed me too. Tell me."

"I missed you. Jae. Jae. I love you."

He looks down at me with wild eyes. "I lost you once. I'm never going to lose you again. Never. Never." He holds me fiercely against him, trembling, his face in anguish.

Later, when we lie in each other's arms, our breaths finally quieten, and I say, overcome by a sudden panic, "Promise me you'll never leave me."

He kisses my forehead, my eyelids, and my lips. "I promise. I will never leave you, for as long as we live. And there will never be anyone else but you."

"You promise?" I whisper.

"I promise. You are mine. Forever. And you can never leave me." He gazes at me for a long moment. "I am already yours. Forever." The truth and sincerity of his words resonate within me.

"I think of you every minute of every day," he says, his words hot and unsteady. "I love you, Yiseul. I will always, always love you."

Something hot and wet rolls down my cheek. "I love you. Jae. I love you."

He takes my face between his hands, his eyes at once intense and impossibly clear. "Don't cry, my sweet. I love you. Always remember that."