After You

Chapter 5

Three days have gone and at most, the cultivation world has returned to normal. Three days that the news about the sect leader of Jiang Sect had passed already settled down. Three days have gone since Jiang Cheng was burned to his ashes. And four days have gone already and Lan Xichen was still awake. He refuses to sleep. He couldn't sleep, to be exact.

Jiang Cheng's ashes safely placed to their sect hall, where his parents and his sister are put. Guarded by the disciples of the sect.

Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian choose to burn Jiang Cheng's deceased body the day after they returned to Lotus Pier. The news spread fast but also died down only after three days.

And for four days, Lan Xichen has been awake. It surprised him too late that his body was still able to hold out for four days after the last battle he had been. The last night hunting he had been with Jiang Cheng,  with the person he truly loves.

For four days, Lan Xichen's heart never ceases to break. Torn to tiny pieces, pieces that he thinks can never be fixed anymore. Pieces that are probably gone by now. Lan Xichen was torn to the point he could only gaze to his surroundings without any reaction, without any thought. The torn to pieces of his heart that long time ago fly away. To directions, he didn't wanna know of.

In Lan Xichen's eyes, everything turned to colorless. Even his own room lost its color. Everything turned gloomy and deafening silence. Two days ago or so he remembers correctly, his brother help him return to Cloud Recesses.

Lan Wanji helped him up to his Hanshi, his brother even assisted him to his bed. Brother, he hears his brother's voice but he didn't answer any of Lan Wangji's calls. Lan Xichen didn't want to be so cold and distant to his only brother but he couldn't help it. He no longer has the energy to move and even the will to continue on living anymore.

Even when they were on Lotus Pier, Lan Wangji was there for him. Whenever Lan Xichen wanted to alone, Lan Wangji would walk to Wei Wuxian and would try his best to comfort his beloved. He knows his brother is tired, just like him, even worse than him, his younger brother hasn't rest yet. The day Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian returned and told their uncle about what happened, he never had time to rest. More to that, Lan Wangji was doing his tasks, filling his role in their sect, doing things that were supposed to be his. But never in those times that his brother came to the Hanshi to complain to him. To tell him that he was really tired and that he wants to rest.

Lan Wangji did not say anything concerning their sect matters to him, not even a single sentence about it.

Even Lan Qiren did not bother himself to come and lesson him. Unlike the time when his uncle knew he was going to seclude himself, Lan Qiren did not let him pass without him experiencing an ear-deafening lecture before he could finally seclude himself.

Lan Xichen stared at the window of his Hanshi. The small pond outside of his cottage flourished with life while he on the inside emit a very heavy and gloomy light. The birds outside sung their song just like yesterday, it was a very sweet song but Lan Xichen already forgot what it means. How long has it been since he sat on the wooden floor not minding their sect rules? Lan Xichen had forgotten about it. He didn't care if he has broken more than ten rules already, breaking another rule won't make any difference.

Wanyin would like this view, he thought as he continues to gaze out. It was peaceful, soundless and insects are free. Just like what his Jiang Cheng wants to always lay his eyes on but rarely only sees it as close as he is now.

With his torn and broken heart, Lan Xichen couldn't feel anything except for loneliness,  pain and the one that he doesn't like most, the coldness of his surroundings.

A knock came on the door of his Hanshi. Lan Xichen heard his visitor slowly opened the door and entered, closing the door soundlessly behind him, Lan Wangji bowed to his brother. Even though Lan Xichen did not see the action of his brother he was sure he gave him his respect as a senior and sect leader.