Requested by : Devildice_iz_life
Fanart Not Mine
(You'll have to forgive me. I've never watched the show before, so it may not be accurate.)
(Also, this is a 'time skip' to when they're older, so around late high school age.)
Dib's POV
I felt someone grab me from behind.
They grabbed the back of my shirt and threw me in the bathroom. I couldn't tell who they were until we were locked in a stall together.
"Zim!?" I shouted at the alien. "What the hell is wrong with you!?"
"I want to make a deal," Zim said in an unusually serious tone.
I was a bit taken back. "What kind of deal?"
The alien cleared his throat. "If you teach me more about a special Earth custom, I will reveal my true identity to our fellow students."
My jaw dropped. Is he serious? After all these painful years of humiliation and desperation, everyone will finally know I was right?
This was too good to be true. "How do I know you're not trying to trick me?" I asked.
He answered, "Well, you're not the first person I've asked to teach me your customs but no one seems willing to participate."
"What custom is it?" I raised a brow.
"A secret one; so secret that I will not tell you what it is until you agree," Zim crossed his arms defiantly.
"Fine, fine," I waved him off.
"Are you sure? There's no take backs."
"Yes I'm sure! Deal!" I said impatiently. Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?
Zim asked, "What's porn?"
I stand corrected.
I asked him, "How and why?"
He explained, "Well, I was doing research on what makes those so-called 'memes' so appealing so that I can-"
"-take over the world with them," I finished his sentence for him. "Get to the point."
"There was one meme that mentioned porn, and naturally, I looked into it. I found it to be a strange Earth custom humans do to please themselves. But I still don't understand it."
I sighed, frustrated, "Porn's another word for sex, and sex is what humans do to reproduce."
Zim put his index finger on his chin in a confused manner. "Hm... so humans aren't born in incubation capsules?"
"Do you ever pay attention in Sex Ed?"
"Nn....no?" he said slowly. I facepalmed.
Zim continued, "Either way, that doesn't explain why humans find so much joy from such an activity."
I crossed my arms, turning red in the face. This was embarrassing. "Why do you wanna know?"
