Born with a disease, one can't see nor get. This disease I speak of is no other than myself. Call me fake, hear my pleads and than forget. Cuz that's what you do best. Shot through the heart by your words so, never again will you impale my soul with the savage words that you cried. The selfish tone used when said our good byes. As if you had anticipated for this day to come, as if I were nothing more than a burden you carried on your back.
I wonder what you see through your eyes everytime that you look at me, Eyes that carry no color have no meaning and are dead inside. That's what you said so why, why'd you have to give birth to a child who carry your colorless eyes. As if you're telling me I was an accident not ready for this world helped any. But, I pushed that aside waiting for the day you would tell me what other possible meanings I could have. Since, we were all put here for a reason, right? But, What meaning could a lifeless boy/girl like me carry? I regret the day I was born sometimes but only because I know you do.
Regret, now, that's a word you used a lot. So, tell me mom what exactly did you regret? Did you regret the day I was born? Or perhaps the day father left us with nothing but cold memories to hold on too. No, that couldn't be it maybe you just resent life? I don't really know, though I should probably ask you but I can't since you've built up these walls. You've built them so high that not even I can pass through. I've tried believe me I have and all it caused was for you to write my name on the walls that surround you saying Leave me alone you ungrateful mistake. You aren't welcomed here, Just go away. I'll push that aside or so I say so I won't cry.
Light headed, I feel like a feather that someone threw under a flame to see if it was flammable. Rather, like a wave that came to close to shore so, that it could escape the cold calamity that surrounds it. Eventually it will clash with the sand and face the rock and pebbles of the land. Pushed back to the exact place it was trying to run away from same sense, I'm just a disease you wish to seize though my life is far more outrageous than a feather lit on fire or a small wave that has reached the end of it's journey. But, I'm a monster created by nothing other than pain and sorrow.
There's one word I always wanted to tell you and one word I never heard from you... "Sorry" as if it was so hard to say, yet, here I am complaining against how I never said it to you. Through everything I was so pathetic that I couldn't even bring myself to even say "Sorry" Sorry for ruining your life, I'm sure you would of been better off without me... Sticks and stones were thrown at these bones leaving hearts untouched and still its broken, never to be mended.
If I weren't a disease, no, if I had ever truly cared maybe.. Just maybe I would have been able to say sorry.. Maybe things.. Would be.. Different, heh, maybe the monsters inside my head wouldn't have aten away at my heart and I would still be by you but.. I'm just a disease after all...
