Hopelessly Hoping

Chapter Three

Chapter three

“Good morning Sweetie, how did you sleep?” Shaylene asked as I walked into the kitchen.

“I slept okay, I guess. You?” I replied. I wanted to tell her I haven’t really had a good night’s rest, but held back, not wanting  questions to be asked, I don’t want to lie to her, then again, I don’t want to tell the truth either.

“I slept like a baby, sound asleep” she answered, turning around to smile at me, then turned back around to continue with the cooking, then added,  “You can have a seat so long; breakfast will be ready in two ticks”

I sat, waiting at the counter, watching the way she cooks. Like she has no worries at all, her shoulders, light, and burden free. Or maybe she is just good at hiding her problems. I wish I had a problem free life, a peaceful life, not having to worry about anything, but I guess fate had something else for me in store. We can’t really choose how we want our lives to be, like many would have a certain goal in life, for example, many wants to be a doctor, at the end something happens, and they end up working in a retail store. I guess that is how my life will be, or maybe I just need some time to get back on track, to find the direction in which I want to go in. Yes, that’s it; all I need is time to get on my own feet again.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Shaylene said, her voice pulling me back to reality.

“Huh?” I looked at her confused, and then looked down at the plate in front of me, when did she put it here? “Oh… sorry” I said, and started eating.

“You seem very distant today. Is there something that is troubling you?” she asked, looking directly into my eye, making me look away, trying to avoid her piercing green eyes. When she looks at you, it’s like she stares into your soul, like she can tell exactly what you thinking, and right now all I can do is avoid them, I got many things to hide, and it is something I do feel guilty about.

“N-no… everything is fine, I’m just feeling a bit dizzy” I said. And it was the truth; I woke up feeling dizzy and a bit nauseous. I pushed my half eaten food aside, not wanting to force myself to eat more. Every bite I take makes me want to bring everything out again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I never really woke up feeling this way before. “Thanks, it was lovely, but I can’t finish it all now, but later I will” I told her, getting up from my seat. Before I could exit the kitchen, she called out to me saying her cousin would be coming around tonight. She didn’t say the gender though, not that it should matter, but I would like to be prepared to meet this cousin of hers. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden I just feel nervous. 

I went in my room, rummaging through my cupboard, looking for something to wear. I decided on a black jean and a plain white long-sleeved top to wear. The colours being a great contrast to one another. The white, for how at carefree and happy I once was, and the black, for how I feel now, sad, alone, with heavy weighted shoulders. I made my way to the bathroom, took a shower, and then got dressed. I combed my hair, and left it to hang loose. I looked for Shaylene told her that I’m going for a walk, in case she would be wondering where I am.

*

I walked through the silent forest, only hearing the crunching sound of the dried out leaves and twigs, snapping under my feet. I would have been shaking in my boots, knowing that I am alone, and anything can happen, but living in the forest for almost two weeks on my own, has driven the fear away. I walked a bit more till I reached a river, and sat on a nearby rock. I lay my head on my arms, looking in the direction, in which the strong current is flowing. The sound of the water flowing put my entire being at ease. I sat there for a few hours, clearing my mind, and resting my tired body. When I heard my stomach grumbling, I knew I had to get home. It was getting late. The sky had this beautiful pink stripes painted over the blue. I wanted to stay longer, to admire the art filled sky, but if I stayed longer,  Shaylene might come and look for me. I stood still for a minute or two, and then made my way home. I reached home within thirty minutes, and found Shaylene waiting for me on her doorstep. Relief washed over her features when she saw me. She rushed to me, almost tripping, and hugged me tight. I froze at the sudden touch, but loosened up, knowing she would not hurt me . I'm not use to people showing me affection since.

“Oh my- I thought you weren’t going to come back home” She said, panic written over her face, looking like she wanted to cry, then added, “ You were gone for hours, so my imagination ran away with me, making me think that you ran away”

 I pulled back smiling, and told her, that would be the last thing on my mind, hearing this; a full blown smile graced her features. As we made our way into the house, a lovely aroma of food entered my nostrils, making me lick my lips, and rub my tummy. I don’t think I can wait till dinner time, the smell made me feel even hungrier.

“Why you acting like a dog, and sniffing the air?” she asked, looking at me strangely. I stopped and rather looked down, embarrassed. “Oh, you smelling the food” she said answering herself, and then added, “My cousin is coming for dinner, tonight. I decided to cook something special for him, knowing that it has been a while since he had a home cooked meal. That guy has been living off fast food for too long.”

I asked, making sure I heard correctly. I felt panic rise within. I have no reason to be afraid, right?

“Yeah, he. You have nothing to worry about, he is a good guy. You’ll love him.” She said oblivious to my sudden shaking hands

*
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Michael's P.O.V

 Here I sit at another one of my friends engagement parties, green with jealousy, watching the soon to be wedded couple dancing happily together. I tore my eyes away from them, allowing it to roam over my other friends, all seated with a partner at their side. Why can’t I have someone? Yeah, I got friends, but I’m talking about that special someone. I really wish for what they have. Some even has a family already, and me? I sit with nothing. All the girls that I come across only see my money, not me. I want a real woman, not some money hungry beast. I got up from where I’m sitting, and made my way out to the garden, where there is less noise. It is almost time for sunset, meaning soon, I better leave soon for the dinner my cousin invited me to. I really don’t want to be late. I’m actually excited, because I have not seen her for months.  I checked my wrist for the time, and quickly rushed back in to bid my friends goodbye, then hoped into my car and was off to Shaylenes’ house.

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