Hopelessly Hoping

Chapter 13

That's my baby Raju Michael Brink on the side. He is a year and few months now. So once i called him cute and he just looked at me like he was glaring at me, so i called him sexy and his ears went down saying he likes it lol so now i call him momma's sexy boy lol

Michael's P.O.V

I tried sleeping, but I only ended up tossing and turning.. I looked over at the clock and groaned loudly. It was only 03:57am. My mind wondered to Cassidy, making me miss her. The conversation I had with Shaylene is still ringing loudly in my hear, clouding my mind with negative thoughts. I was still thinking long and hard about Cassidy, fearing that she might end things. I turned to lay on my back, but no position was comfortable. I got out of bed, and allowed my feet to carry me where they want to be. I found myself standing before Cassidy's door, I wanted to knock but thought against it and went inside. The first thing that came into view was her empty bed and immediately it brought panic over me. I looked around her room, and saw a figure sitting on the windowsill. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she is here and safe. I walked over to where she was sitting. She glanced over her shoulder acknowledging my presence and smile. She stood up, meeting me halfway and wrapped her arms around my torso. Acting on instinct I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her head in the crook of my neck. Judging by how quiet she was, I knew something was bothering her. "Hey" I whispered.

"Hey" she mumbled. "It's like my prayers were just answered" her breath danced on my skin as she spoke. I hummed in response, willing her to explain. "I couldn't sleep and was hoping you were awake. I guess I just need some reassurance"

"You know, that is the same reason why I am here. I just need to know If you are having any seconds thoughts on us and want to end things?"

"What makes you ask that?" she asked, tightening her hold on me a bit.

"Shaylene said that you did not look so sure that you wanted this relationship, that is the main reason why she thought that I was forcing you into this" The only response I got was her sighing and immediately I felt a bit hurt by it. "So I'm giving you the chance now... Y-you can end it n-now if you want" with each word I felt my heart jerk painfully.

"Tell me what you want to hear, then I'll say it"

"I only want the truth Cassidy" I murmured in her ear.

"Michael, I'm sorry" she said and pulled away to look me in the eyes. I saw uncertainty in hers. "I didn't want to come forth in that way, but she's right. I don't know if me giving us a try is a mistake. People say listen to your heart and everything will be okay. Now, I did that in the past, my heart told me to trust that people and look where it got me. I don't need history to repeat itself... I don't understand, my heart knows pain and betrayal, yet it says that it is okay to give us a chance. The problem is that my mind is telling me to not trust you and to walk away. I'm having this internal battle and it is only making me confused, but I do not want to let this go" she said and tilted her head to study me.

"Look Cassy, don't ever punish your present relationship for what happened in the past. It will only make you miserable. Your heart is calling out, wanting to understand the meanings of love, so allow it. If your heart wants this, then don't let anything stop you from giving it what it wants... Do you remember what I told you, about the flower?"

She nodded her head and then said, "Don't stop the flower from blossoming, but let it be" for a moment she looked like she was deep in thought and then suddenly she said excitedly,"So this is where that line fits in!"

"Yeah, you understand now what it means?" I asked laughing softly.

"Yes, I do" she smiled up at me and I returned her smile. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. I feel as though a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Now my heart is at peace knowing that everything is now safe between us. She turned around and looked out of the window, admiring the starry night. I came up from behind her and wrapped my arms around her, my hands lay on her stomach. I smiled to myself thinking about her carrying my baby in there. I grew excited at the thought, but I dare not say it out loud. I don't want to scare her away with my forward thoughts.