eddie sat on stan's floor, giving him a death glare as richie sat confused next to him. this is what he gets for trying to explain what happened on sunday to stan, which took way longer than he thought it would.
"wait, can someone explain what's going on? i didn't know you were setting up a first date with me and eds when i didn't even get the chance to ask." richie says, sarcasm in his tone. eddie honestly can never tell when richie is being serious or not. his speech is constant jokes and sarcasm, and it's pretty rare to hear that gentle and caring voice when all the walls are down.
"shut up, richie." stan says, his eyes going back to eddie.
eddie doesn't understand what he's supposed to say. it's only been a few days since those old wounds were finally patched up and now he's being forced to face richie head on all because stan has a bit of a hunch that it's going to work out. all it was were a few kisses that probably meant nothing from richie. all it is now is eddie constantly being confused on what to do because he's borderline obsessed with the boy that always smells like cigarettes and looks sad all the time despite the fact that he's always got that stupid smile on his face.
he bounces his foot a bit, trying to figure out what the hell to do. the silence engulfing the room seems like it's going to drown him, and it's just not something eddie was trying to deal with today. seems like lately all he's doing is explaining to his friends what the hell is going on with that stupid crush. god, he's so lucky his friends are so cool with it. he doesn't know what the hell he'd do if his friends abandoned him like he figured they would.
"alright, i'm gonna leave you two alone. this time i'm actually gonna order a pizza. please don't start making out by the time i get back." stan says, quickly leaving the room.
god damn it.
"and here i am thinking this day couldn't get anymore stressful." richie says, laughing a bit and scratching the back of his head. "nice shirt by the way, eds." he adds, winking at him.
eddie was wearing the flannel again. he decided it was his new favorite shirt, even though he mostly wears it as a jacket because of how big it is on him. he can feel his cheeks flushing up a bit, but he doesn't really hide it.
"i told you not to call me eds." he says, his leg bouncing a bit more now. though eddie would never say it out loud, he liked the nickname. it was something that felt special, everyone got a nickname from richie.
"yeah, sorry." richie says, adjusting his glasses. his hair flops in front of his face as he does so, but he doesn't do anything about it. god, eddie desperately wants to reach over and tuck the little tuft of hair back where it was originally, but he wouldn't. he never does.
"it's fine, actually. i dunno." eddie replies. he's just more worried than anything.
"what were you and stan the man talkin' about anyway?" richie asks. "heard you guys were talkin about me, so i'm guessing all good things?" he teases, smirking at the smaller boy.
"seems like i'm always talking about you." eddie admits shyly. "i dunno, i guess i'm really glad we're talking again is all. i didn't really know what to do without you."
"i guess i could say the same, actually." richie says. eddie wonders what he says, probably just what happened if anything. beverly is probably the one that knows everything, and it comforts eddie a bit with the idea beverly marsh would definitely do the same thing stan is doing right now.
"how's the nightmares been? you sleeping better?" richie asks carefully. his voice is calm and almost vulnerable, but it's not quite there. it gives eddie crazy butterflies every time he does it. walls crumble down and everything is so real and colorful.
"they haven't been much better. just a lot of dying i guess." eddie says. he didn't really want to admit how bad it's been. he barely sleeps, sometimes just because he can't and other times there's nightmares. they're awful too. graphic images of him dying with nobody there to save him, and they're always different is the worst thing. nothing constant to remind himself that it's just a dream, it's just death, death, and more death.
"i guess i'll be at your window every night then," richie says, shifting a bit closer to eddie. "i mean, if that's okay?"
"i wouldn't wanna trouble you or anything—"
"no, no, it's fine. you said i helped before, so i'll help you now." richie interrupts him, resting a hand on eddie's leg. "i promised i'd always be here for you, and i should've stayed but i thought that well, y'know." he adds.
"what if i told you i wanna kiss you again?" eddie says. he watches as richie's eyes widen, but they aren't threatening. everything is soft right now. soft like the hum of the tv in the background every time richie would sneak through eddie's window and just talk to him until he fell asleep.
"i'd probably let you." richie says softly.
it's been awhile. three months of trying to figure everything out. three months of eddie wishing he could just speak to richie. three months of just wanting to say how much he's been on his mind. maybe, just maybe, they needed this moment.
"god, i'm such an idiot i feel like i'm gonna cry." eddie says, his composure fumbling a bit.
"it's okay to cry, y'know. i get it actually, trying to figure everything out is kinda tough. richie says, putting his arm around eddie. he tenses up at first, but melts against the touch and leans against the taller boy.
"i'm sorry for not saying anything sooner, especially because i wanted to and i know that i hurt you." eddie says, rambling on a bit about everything he meant to say forever. "i didn't even know how much you meant to me until it happened and now that you're back, the feeling kept nagging at me so i just got more scared."
"it's okay, eds, i'm here now." he says, holing onto eddie.
a knock at the door nearly pulled the two away from each other, but eddie could barely move. stan walked in, his eyebrow popped up in confusion, but still sat down on his bed.
"i told you so." he said, but it wasn't his usual passive aggressive tone. he just let the two boys be.
stan uris might just be a life saver.
YOU ARE READING
lost at home // reddie
Fanfiction"i guess i'm not very good at expressing my emotions." "well that's another thing we've got in common." ˚✧₊⁺˳✧༚ 》lowercase intended 》angst ˚✧₊⁺˳✧༚ (bored and cried after chapter two so i'm compensating with this)
