Some Nights

five

"...but all that glitters isn't gold, i was blinded. should have never gave you my heart on consignment. and i can't believe the lies that i went for..."

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"WHAT ABOUT US?"

Mae sighed, throwing her head back into the pillows. "Imani, seriously? We've talked about this."

For two months, Mae had tiptoed around the topic, sealing it with kisses, promising her that it would... it would end.

It had to end.

Imani stood stiff at the edge of the bed, adamant about waiting for a response, but it barely lasted a minute. Every nerve in her body reeled her down to Mae—her knees colliding with soft sheets, her hands tangling into soft hair... their lips meeting in a soft kiss.

"You promised, Mae," she breathed, pulling back. "You keep promising that—"

"I know." A breathless plea laced through the two words. "I know."

"You told me you were leaving him," Imani said again, feeling like a broken record. It was always the same fight. "I thought you— I thought we..."

Mae cupped her cheeks gently. "'Mani, I will. I will leave him. I just... I can't. Not yet."

Not yet. Not today, not yesterday, not last month, not two months ago. Not yet was turning into never.

"Why?"

Sniffling, Mae twisted away from her in the sheets. "I'm sorry."

"Mae."

"'Mani, I... I love him."

Fuck, that always hurt. That always hurt because Imani knew what she was saying—what she left unspoken.

With a shaky exhale, Imani tugged her back into her arms. As Mae blinked up at her, a veil of tears shone in her dark eyes. "No, don't cry. Please."

A watery laugh left her lips. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't know how to leave him. We... we have a relationship, 'Mani. We're not ju—"

"You care about him more than me."

The truth was written into the warm air, a tangled confession that both of them were too afraid to admit out loud—you love him more than me.

"No, Imani, you know it's not that," Mae suddenly snapped, wrenching away from her. "That's not what it is!"

Imani bit back a curse, frustration seizing her in a chokehold. How could she love this woman so much? "Then what is it, Mae? You don't want to be with me?"

"Of course I want to be with you!"

"Well, you can't be with both of us, Mae," Imani ground out.

Like icy daggers, her words hit Mae so hard that she stumbled back. A vice grip clenched around her heart. "I don't... I..."

Refusing to back down, Imani stood to level her with a strong look. "Has this meant anything to you? Do we mean anything to you?"

Mae staggered back again, reeling from the impact, dizzy from the death glare that Imani was drilling her with. Was that really what she thought?

"Of course it does," Mae argued breathlessly. "I care about you, 'Mani. I didn't lie about that."

"No, you just lied about everything else."