Some Nights

six

"...used to promise me you'd never switch on me like Gemini..."

||

"I TOLD HIM ABOUT US."

Those words drove a stake through Imani's heart. A cold, cruel confession.

Spinning on the sidewalk, Imani blinked at the guilty expression on her face. Their eyes clashed, and for half a heartbeat, they both stilled. "You..."

Mae sniffled, swiping a gloved hand at her red nose. Her gaze fell to the icy concrete. "I did. I told him about us. I told him... about me, and about how I feel... about you."

Nothing in the world could have prepared Imani for that whiplash. "You told him."

Mae told him, but she didn't leave him.

That small omission was so like Mae that it hurt—always ready to choose a weapon from a fully stocked armory of little white lies.

"I told him I was seeing someone else," Mae murmured, her voice cracking like ice. "I told him I've been seeing someone for months."

In the chilly November night, the winter air stole every single breath from her lungs. Imani couldn't breathe.

Because she could see it in her eyes. Defeat.

Something broken fumbled from her lips, caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "He thought it was the bartender. He thought it was the... the guy from next door. He thought it was—"

"He didn't know," Imani drawled. "He didn't know that you were bi. That you were seeing a woman."

A gust of cold air swept between them, somehow separating them more than ever.

Mae shook her head, a silent sob shaking her shoulders. As she took a slow step back, her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "No," she choked out. "No, he... he didn't. He didn't know I was... I didn't even know I was... I was..."

"Mae." Imani was always solid and strong, bracing summer storms and winter winds to reach her. Icy fingers caressed Mae's cheeks. "It's okay."

"No, no, no," she started to blubber, tearing free from Imani. Another sob wracked through her. "It's not okay. I didn't know it would..."

"It is okay to be confused, Mae." Cautiously, Imani reached for her again, and when Mae met her gaze with those glacial eyes, she nodded. "It's okay."

Mae forced a shaky smile. "I told him I wanted to be with you, 'Mani."

Imani froze. "Fuck, Mae."

"I... I can't..." A mere whisper, lost in the harsh winds of winter. "I can't leave him."

There it was. What Imani had always known. That not yet had become a never.

"I just— I've known him my entire life. I've been with him for years, and he's... he's always been this part of my life. A part of me."

Imani swallowed the hurt with another weak smile. "Mae, I—"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she continued to cry, tears finally spilling over her cold cheeks. This wasn't what she had wanted. Mae never wanted to hurt anyone. "I'm so sorry. I just can't leave him—"

"For me?"

Her entire expression crumbled. With a trembling bottom lip, Mae shook her head. "I'm sorry, Imani."

Imani nearly flinched at the use of her full name. "What are you sorry for, Mae?"

"I can't do this."

"This?"

"Us."