Odd-eyed Beauty // hwang minhyun (#27)

Eighteen

Yeongwon

I stood in front of the mirror, panting to catch my breath and my forehead full of sweat, I have been trying to calm myself down in the shower where I dragged myself out of bed. It is a tiring process and I only told myself that it will only get harder if I allow myself to think that way, I will never get out of my shell if I continue to be the same for the rest of my life.

But I can't seem to do this, going to school scares me a lot and I am traumatized just by the thought of being in school and everyone talking about my unusual appearance, it scares me a lot because they will not only say some hurtful things to me but do hurtful things to me as well. People in this world are as kind as what you would expect, the people in my family are kind to me because we are family and related to each other but things aren't the same outside of the family, they don't care about your well-being and only focus on making your life as miserable as possible, they wouldn't rest until you surrender to their tactics and they would finally stop, by then it is already over because you allowed yourself to lose to them.

If people are a little kinder to me, life for me would turn out better than the life that I have lived for the past 19 years but they just chose to make my life miserable and make me feel so worthless that I think of myself as someone insignificant and little to the rest of the world. But in reality, people are this bad in nature because they have also been hurt by other people in their lives and the only way of moving onto from their hurtful pasts is to do the same to people that haven't done them any wrong at all.

And I want to change my life based on that, I don't want to bully anyone nor get bullied by anyone anymore, I have gotten tired of it and it is starting to drain me out day by day. I want to live my life with lesser people making fun of me and I could finally be myself and not belittled by anyone who thinks that I am not the same as them, I want to make them know that I am just the same as them, I have everything that they have as well but I have a bonus, I have different coloured eyes that might seem special but it is nothing special at all, it makes me the person that I am.

The reason why I have this mindset is because of Minhyun, he has been sending me inspirational quotes that is obviously taken from the internet and sending me inspirational videos to remind me that I am not the only human out there with a unique look that is different from the rest of the humans out there but we are still able to enjoy life the way that we wanted.

Honestly, I really wanted to ignore him and go back to my life that I have always lived, hiding from the outside and staying in my bedroom which is the safest place for me and it is not the life that I wished to live and so I wanted to change my life around with a new mindset. Thus, I decided that I would rely on Hwang Minhyun to help me change the life that I am living right now and changing it to the life that I have wanted to live for the longest by being friends with me.

My phone dinged and it was from Hwang Minhyun, he had sent a message telling me that he just arrived at my house and he is telling me to get out of my house. I exhaled one last time and wiped my face with the facial towel and I got out of the bathroom.

My parents are already getting ready for work and my younger brother is also having his breakfast while playing his games on his gaming console, my mother placed a bowl of cereal in front of me as I took my seat. "What are you doing in your bathroom for so long? You are going to be late if you don't hurry up and your father and your younger brother are going to be late as well."

My father has always sent me and my younger brother to school in his huge family car that he purchased since I was the first year in middle school and it has been like this until now, I know that he is doing that because he didn't want me to suffer too much from all the bullying and he wanted my trip back and forth from school to be a peaceful one. And I had brought up the topic of me taking public transport to school along with Hwang Minhyun and he wasn't the one who suggested that I wanted it myself.

"I am still taking public transport and the journey to school isn't that far away, I can manage it well," I told my family. "I thought that we have already talked about this during dinner last night."

My father placed his spoon with such force that it collided with the bowl and created a sound that didn't sound that pleasant at all. "You did and I still don't approve of it, you know how the kids are always so rowdy everywhere you go, I don't want you to get hurt."

"But Appa, I really want to do this and I am graduating high school by the end of this year. I hope that I would be able to gain some independence from this small action, it is just taking a school bus to school and no one will do anything to me. You have to trust me on this, I will be fine." I showed them with all the sincerity that I have stored in my heart, it is just for this moment.

My father just sighed. "I would like to say no to you but I can't bear to upset my only daughter and restrict you from doing the things that you want to do, I would have to agree but I will have to pick you up from school once anything bad happens to you."

I smiled. "Thank you for allowing me to take public transport to school." And it is my first step to a new perspective on the life that I have been wanting to change.