Rekindled From The Ashes

Today

...3 years later...

***

His alarm blared throughout the entire room, it had been ringing now for a good five minutes. He just didn't have the will to turn it off. He stared at the red numbers flashing the time, 6:35 in the morning. He knew he would have to get up soon for work, but he didn't have the will or the motivation.

San used to kiss him awake....

He felt his eyes water and squeezes them shut before finally sitting up. He cried himself dry last night, he can't do any more before work.

He gets up and takes a very hot shower, the water easing some of his muscles as he stayed in there for longer than he probably should have. After turning the water off, he steps out of the shower and walks to the kitchen, not even bothering to dry off or to get dressed.

No one else is in the house anyway, so why should he get dressed right now?

He pops a couple pieces of bread in the toaster, again not sure why he is even doing it. He's just going to nibble on the crust before throwing the whole thing away. He did pour himself a glass of water and looks to the counter where his pill bottles lay. The itch came back in the back of his head, the one screaming at him to just take every single one of those pain killers and go back to bed to end it all.

But instead, he grabs his bottle of antidepressants, popping the correct dosage in his mouth and swallowing them down with the cool water. The taste was bitter on his tongue as he sets the water down on the counter, hearing his toast pop out of the toaster, toasted to perfection.

Leaning against the counter, he nibbles on the toast as he feels the medication slowly working in his system. He was diagnosed with severe depression shortly after San had passed away, and it was even worse once he had the baby. Post partum depression made it even worse, and he didn't have the will to live anymore. He even sold their house, not wanting to stay where the memories made the wounds deeper. He moved away from the house into a small, cozy apartment, since it is just himself now.

But sometimes, he gets to feeling lonely and his thoughts fill with San. And thoughts about what their life would've been like if he hadn't....

Wooyoung tried many times to kill himself, and chickened out before he could do anything such as swallowing his pain killers or grabbing a kitchen knife and just slitting his throat and wrists. It's a wonder he's not in a psych ward. Mingi has had to personally rip a knife out of his hands when he wanted to end it all. At least he had people who cared....

Yunho and Mingi are usually the ones who keep him alive. They call every morning to make sure he's awake and he's doing okay, usually right at 7:30 on the dot. They may not be neighbors anymore, but Yunho still calls and checks on his well being even if he's in the mood he's in today.

Speaking of them, his phone rings on the charging doc in the kitchen and he is quick to open it, holding the phone up so he can FaceTime his friends.

"You're awake! Good!" Yunho laughs, "I was doing my normal routine like I do every day."

"You don't have to you know," Wooyoung smiles softly, his voice was monotonous and his body felt numb. He didn't have any spark left in him.

"I know but I do," Yunho points a finger at him, "And if you don't answer I'll be over there tearing your door down to get to you."