As time passes <CHANLIX>

I can't

Chan

What?

Am I losing my mind or did he actually say that...

"Lix? Y..you still love me?"

Felix's head was in his hands and he was crying a flood.

"I never stopped loving you! And I hate myself because of it!"

He never stopped? He never stopped. He never stopped!

"Don't hate yourse-"

"I met someone else chan.. I hate myself because I can't fully commit to him because of you! You're always on my mind... you're always that lingering thought and I hate it! Why should I love you!? Why?"

He has someone else and I'm ruining it for him.. even when I'm not around him I ruin his life...

"I don't kno-"

"No you do know why! It was your plan for me to fall for you and I did. I fell hard. Now when I lay awake at night my thoughts aren't on my boyfriend there on you! Maybe that night at the party if you just grew a pair and came and talked to me, instead of overreacting and jumping to conclusion. Maybe just maybe we would be together... but I guess that wasn't meant to be. Now I'm just a horrible boyfriend, who can't stop think about their ex whatever we were..."

"If I make your life so hard then stop loving me! But just know I never Stopped and never will. You're my every thought, you're the reason I'm still breathing..."

Felix looked hurt and angry he wrapped his hands around his head in frustration and screamed..

"It's not that easy! I can't just stop loving you! But I know.. I know I have to..."

He falls to the floor as he cries hysterically. His large jumper making him look small- wait.. that.. that jumper...

"Lix..."

I wipe my eyes and crouch down to Felix's level. His head was down and I can hear his weeps. It broke my heart to see him so destroyed.

"Chan.. it hurts. It hurts to see you and hear you. You hurt me..."

"I know... and I'm sorry. But lix there has to be some sort of reason why we crossed paths again... and for some reason I don't think it's for closure..."

I slow reach my hand up and place it on Felix's head. I stroked his silky locks as he kept crying into my old jumper that I gave him years ago...

"Felix I think it's fate. It sounds stupid but I believe we're meant to be here.. right now together. Maybe this is a sign so we can be with each other forever..."

It was a long shot, but it had to be said. I have to try. Maybe just maybe he'll believe it too.

"Ch..chan it's been 5 years... I've moved in with my life.. I can't just hope back into my past.. maybe this is closure, but you're too in-denial..."

Ouch that hurt, but I guess I am being stupid... I've basically asked Felix to leave his boyfriend and come back to me who he's been running away from for the past 5 years... why do I even try?

"Yeah sorry..." I get off the floor and dust my self off.. my heart and head feel so heavy, but I have to be strong. I don't want to upset Felix more then I already have. "Shall we go back inside? It's getting cold"